Hello

Please mention reference ID when you post answers.

Introduction is incoherent. It is the first line of the answer, so you should write a proper one. Just define IoT- Internet of Things (IoT) is the concept of connecting objects of daily use to the Internet and to each other, such as ‘things’ ranging from cell phones, coffee makers, washing machines, headphones, lamps, wearable devices and almost anything else you can think of.
In the body, you have dedicated one page to way forward, that is not desirable.. it should be a bit briefer.
The core demand is how IoT can change our world- so you should try to cover various dimensions in this part of the answer. Connectivity, knowledge are decent points but mention some substantive things such as- IoT is likely to bring new transition in electronics and wearable devices;
will improve quality control and reduce energy consumption enabling sustainable development; improved border management, well monitored public spaces, and safer homes; Big data analytics and Artificial Intelligence will get a boost; IoT in agriculture is going increase accessibility of precision farming such as through better tracking of crops, livestock and inputs; Individual health monitoring and threats to public health such as in a pandemic-like situation can be better managed.
Concerns mentioned are fine, privacy issues can be added.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep practicing. 🙂