10th July 2019 | Daily Answer Writing Enhancement

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Question 1)

In a multi-ethnic and multi-religious country like India with a dualistic society and economy, most of the violence arises due to conflict of interest. Comment.(250 words)

Question 2)

Is the government right in identifying particular industries that it sees as worthy of promotion and offering special incentives targeted at these? Critically analyse.(250 words)

Question 3)

What are generic drugs? Discuss steps that are required to be taken to make them easily available to masses. (250 Words)

Question 4)

What is the “principle of permissible harm” in ethics? How do you see stern state action against its own people in certain instances such as the Left Wing radicalism and Jammu and Kashmir disturbance with respect to it? Does ‘Principle of Permissible Harm’ stand the test of moral laws? (250 W)

 

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Varsha Chauhanparth vermavinay bhalekarVishvjeet HolkarParth Ranjan Recent comment authors
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sourav singh
Member
mud borne
Member

Please review Q1

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Mud Born
Kindly upload the answers here rather than doing it on google drive. Please do that for the answers that you have uploaded there because we do not have access to your files.
Secondly try to write on plain white A4 paper rather than on diary pages. The answer is not clear here.
Coming to your answer, it started really well but the main body lacks content and structure.
Presentation is poor.
Points are placed in haphazard manner.
You have to mention the reasons and various incidents of conflict of interest in our society in bullet points using subheadings.
Read the model answer.
What is the way forward? You did not gave any.

Marks: 1.5

Mohsin Khursheed
Member

Q4.
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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Mohsin
Your answer is decent but structure and presentation needs work.
The content is well placed and its on the right track.
the balance of the points is there which is good.
But avoid long paragraphs.
They will make your answer less cohesive and you will lose marks.

Marks: 3.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q1

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Utkarsh
Very good answer.
The intro, main body and the ending are discussed with required approach.
The direction is good.
To make the answer near perfect, after discussing various conflicts in the society, do mention its implications on the internal security and other dimensions like economic, society, political in India.
That will give better balance to your answer.
Quite good way forwards but do include a short conclusion towards the end.

Marks: 4.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

This is a current affairs related static question hence its imperative that you mention the issue in the starting of the answer.
After intro, do mention some of the recent steps taken by the GoI in Union Budget where it helped to promote a certain sector of the economy.
You can add points like:
Recent measures by the government:
In the latest Union Budget has proposed that global companies will be invited to set up mega-manufacturing plants for semiconductor fabrication, solar photovoltaic cells, lithium storage batteries and computer hardware.
Such investments will be allowed income tax exemption against capital expenditures incurred.
Equally significant is the focus on leapfrogging and making India a “global hub” for manufacturing of electrical vehicles (EV).
Not only will the goods and services tax rate on EVs be reduced from 12 to 5 per cent, consumers will be provided income tax deduction of up to Rs 2.5 lakh on the interest paid on the loans taken to purchase these vehicles.

Rest of the answer in terms of content are good.
The last paragraph is lengthy and has do different sets of arguments taking place. Hence divide the paragraph accordingly and you will have a better presented last part.
Goo way forwards towards the end but do include a short conclusion after that.
The main body is well attempted and points are apt.

Marks: 4.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q3

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Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q4

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Parth Verma
Admin

The discussion is OK but you have to have balance in the answer.
I mean you have to discuss pros and cons of the Principle of Permissible Harm or arguments for both sides.
Read the model answer in this regard.
Language is good.
Give more examples. You have just mentioned about J&K and Naxal issues. But do deliberate upon them in better way.

Marks: 3.5

Mohsin Khursheed
Member

Q2. MOJO9615J00A46183569

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Parth Verma
Admin

Your intro has to be linked with the topic of the discussion. For example, you discussed the importance of industrial sector but you have to mention in what context are we having this discussion?
After intro, do mention some of the recent steps taken by the GoI in Union Budget where it helped to promote a certain sector of the economy.
You can add points like:
Recent measures by the government:
In the latest Union Budget has proposed that global companies will be invited to set up mega-manufacturing plants for semiconductor fabrication, solar photovoltaic cells, lithium storage batteries and computer hardware.
Such investments will be allowed income tax exemption against capital expenditures incurred.
Equally significant is the focus on leapfrogging and making India a “global hub” for manufacturing of electrical vehicles (EV).
Not only will the goods and services tax rate on EVs be reduced from 12 to 5 per cent, consumers will be provided income tax deduction of up to Rs 2.5 lakh on the interest paid on the loans taken to purchase these vehicles.

Once again your paragraphs are way too lengthy for a normal UPSC mains answer’s standards. You have to look into this habit of your. Rather use bullet points. You are discussing everything in one single paragraph which is bad for your answer. many of the important points get lost in that space. Please avoid this.
Instated of approaching the answer in discussing whether there should be targeted incentives, you have to discuss the pros and cons of these target. Thats a better way of approaching the answer.
Overall I think you missed the direction of the question. read the model answer and take cue on how to approach this particular question.

Marks: 2

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q1

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Kunal
You can do away with the first paragraph of the answer. Or else you can take certain parts of your 1st para and add them to the 2nd para and use the 2nd para as your intro. Thats more suited to the demand of the question. Try to write intro in a single para for better space and time management plus it is a better structure for the answer.
The answer is revolving a lot around the issue of co-existence of multi religions and cultures and their conflicts. You can also add points regarding vote bank politics which has become communal and casteist in nature, the issue of caste and positive discrimination in education and employment field etc.
Try to use sub headings in your answers if you are writing in paragraph format. That will serve your answer in a better way
Discussion is good but reach of the content could have been wider.
Good concluding para.

Marks: 4

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

After intro, do mention some of the recent steps taken by the GoI in Union Budget where it helped to promote a certain sector of the economy.
You can add points like:
Recent measures by the government:
In the latest Union Budget has proposed that global companies will be invited to set up mega-manufacturing plants for semiconductor fabrication, solar photovoltaic cells, lithium storage batteries and computer hardware.
Such investments will be allowed income tax exemption against capital expenditures incurred.
Rest of the answer is fine
Discussion is wholesome and quite good.
Good way forwards.

Marks: 4.5

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q3

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Parth Verma
Admin

The 1st part of your answer lacks discussion as well as depth.
After introducing generic drugs, discuss the present status of drug availability and pricing in India.
Then mention the reasons why they are not being used as widely as they should have been. You talked about it but in a single statements and straightaway want to discuss the way forwards.
These two aspects are missing from the 1st part of your answer which makes the answer empty in its content.
Way forwards are good.

Marks: 2

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q4

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Parth Verma
Admin

The only problem in the answer is that it lacks some ethical perspective in its discussion.
It is discussed in right direction but side by side you have to look in the issue with ethics lens and answer accordingly.
The balance of the discussion is perfect and you have given arguments for both sides in apt manner.
Good concluding lines.
Marks: 3.5

Varsha Chauhan
Member

MOJO9611C00A14581096 Q1

Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Varsha
Your intro is fantastic and suited for the demands of the questions.
But the discussion just after the intro has certain flaws.
You can either remove it completely and start the discussion from the flowchart.
Or you have to use the subheading for those 3 4 bullet points to show why this is being discussed because those points are discussing the same aspect as it was discussed in your intro. So you have to show the examiner what was your intent by including some sub heading otherwise this part looks like the repeated intro, albeit in bullet points.

Good use of flowchart. The direction is apt in it. Well done.
In the main body, your main theme should be on the idea of “conflict of interest” rather than social or economical divide. Those very points can be shown in the perspective of conflict of interest by discussing the issues like communal divide, polarisation of society through political parties, vote bank politics which has become communal and casteist in nature, the issue of caste and positive discrimination in education and employment field etc.

Good conclusion.

Marks: 3.5

Varsha Chauhan
Member

MOJO9611C00A14581096 Q3

Parth Verma
Admin

Quite a very good answer.
You have covered almost all the possible elements of the issue and their explanations are quite decent.
Balance is apt with proper focus on 1st as well as 2nd parts.
Good way forwards specially those 4 Es.
All in all superb attempt.
Nothing to improve here.

Marks: 6.5

Varsha Chauhan
Member

MOJO9611C00A14581096 Q4

Parth Verma
Admin

The length of the answer is an issue otherwise near perfect answer.
You have covered the discussion well with ethical perspective and done well to link it with the modern day challenges in governance.
Do not exceed the page limits because you wont be getting that in the real exam. So try to stick to the pages. For 10 markers its w and for 15 its 3.
Overall good answer.

Marks: 5.5

Varsha Chauhan
Member

Okay sir will keep that in mind. Actually the question mentioned 250 words so i thought its a 15 marker 😀

avani k
Member

Q1

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mud borne
Member

Good attempt. I am starting at this hence not very good at analysing ur answer.

However I felt that the points could be better organized and one factual error on the article for UCC.
You can check Utkarsh answer, i liked it more

Kindly review mine too and keep writing 🙂

Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Avani
Decent intro.
But do not commit mistakes of quoting wrong article numbers. Its 44 and not 45 for UCC.
You are trying to put too many points in your main body here but there is just no flow it as the structure is haphazard. You have to make your points talk and the flow should be such that you are taking to a certain understanding but sadly that is not the case with the main body.
Good conclusion.
Your answer has width but no logical direction or subheadings to show the direction. Work on it.

Marks: 3

avani k
Member

Q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

Please avoid bullet points or fragmentation in intro.
South Korea has done this with respect to which sector? Never leave your discussion empty.
Once again your discussion is on right track but it needs better direction and logical conclusion in the main body. That is lacking.
Your balance is good and you have discussed both +ves as well as -ves of the issue.
Read the model answer to better understand the flow of the answer.

Marks: 4

avani k
Member

Q3

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Parth Verma
Admin

Do not use the subheadings in intro. Simply start with the discussion on generic drugs. If you use subheadings in the intro then it looks as if the intro is missing and this is the main body.
You dont need to discuss the TRIPS agreement paragraph. It is not needed here.
Instead after discussing intro, discuss the present status of generic drugs in India and recent issues with it. Then jump to the challenges,
Your points are OK in challenges but more points are needed. read the model answer for that.
Good way forward.

marks: 3.5

nikhita
Member

Plz review

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Nikhita
Your overall discussion is really very good and you have covered the issues with quoting recent examples. It is well done.
the coverage of the answer is quite wide and well done.
But you have to work on your presentation. Many times you have gone back to add certain points in the statements which makes your look fragmented.
Rest of the answer is good in terms of discussion and structure.
Decent conclusion.

Marks: 5

nikhita
Member

Q2

nikhita
Member

Q1

nikhita
Member

Q2 plz review

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Parth Verma
Admin

The direction of the answer is again really very good.
You have rightly grasped the context of the question and attempted it in right manner.
Points are really good and answer is quite informative.
But as mentioned earlier, you have to work on your presentation skills. You are cutting, scrambling and pushing a lot in your statements. Avoid that. This shows the uncertainty in your mind while framing your answers which is bad overall in the examination.
Take those extra 5 10 seconds and then write the statements so that you do not have to come back to scramble some points or cut something. These things break the flow in your answer.
rest, there is no issues in the answer.

marks: 5

nikhita
Member

Q3

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Parth Verma
Admin

Never write in bullet points in your intro. Your intro and conclusion should be done through proper paragraph manner. But no bullet points. You dont want these 2 portions to look fragmented.
The structure of the answer is poor.
After introducing generic drugs, discuss the present status of drug availability and pricing in India.
Then mention the reasons why they are not being used as widely as they should have been.
Then mention your way forwards that you have discussed in the 1st page itself.
Then conclude the discussion.
Never discuss way forwards in the 1st part of your answer.
It will look like solutions being discussed without discussing the challenges or problems.
You have some good points but write them in proper direction.
Good use of flow chart. Points discussed in them are relevant
Marks: 4

nikhita
Member

Q4 , payment I’d:MOJO 9616600d12527703

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Parth Verma
Admin

the 2nd page is not uploaded correctly.
The problem in the answer is that it lacks various ethical perspective in its discussion.
It is discussed in right direction but side by side you have to look in the issue with ethics lens and answer accordingly.
Its very much like paper 1 or 2 answer but not paper 4 in terms of its language.
The balance of the discussion is perfect and you have given arguments for both sides in apt manner.

Marks: 2.5

Parth Ranjan
Member

Q1
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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi parth
Your 1st couple of paragraphs are in right direction and well suited. Keep it up.
The answer is revolving a lot around the issue of co-existence of multi religions and cultures and their conflicts. You can also add points regarding vote bank politics which has become communal and casteist in nature, the issue of caste and positive discrimination in education and employment field etc.
Discussion is good and reach of the content is wide.
Good concluding para.
All in all good answer.

Marks: 6

Parth Ranjan
Member

Q2
MOJO9617P00D58497630

Parth Verma
Admin

You have rightly grasped the context of the question and attempted it in right manner.
Your direction is quite in the right direction.
Points are really good and answer is quite informative.
Nothing to improve in its current form.
Well done

Marks: 6

Parth Ranjan
Member

Q4
MOJO9617P00D58497630

Parth Verma
Admin

The issue with the answer is that it lacks various ethical perspective in its discussion.
It is discussed in right direction but side by side you have to look in the issue with ethics lens and answer accordingly.
The discussion is more suited for rest of the GS papers but not for paper 4 in its current form.
Overall the coverage is good and balance tight.

Marks: 3.5

Vishvjeet Holkar
Member

Q1

Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Vishvjeet
Your intro is good. You dont need that small little para just after your intro.
Good that you used graph but it is not needed here. Sometimes these things are not required or do not add value to your answer. So use them with care otherwise you will lose time and space but not gain much from it.
Your points are in right direction but they need better articulation.
Your last parts of the answer look fragmented, from flowchart to way forwards. Do not use flowchart if you dont have more than 4 points. Flowchart is used to save space and time when you much to discuss but very less space. Thus flowcharts help then. But not when you have only couple of points.
Similarly way forward looks half baked.

Marks: 3

Vishvjeet Holkar
Member

Q2

Parth Verma
Admin

Good intro.
Do mention those benefits mentioned in the budget after your intro.
You mention some examples after statements but they are not adding value to your answer. You just mention them like “electric vehicles”, “electronics” etc but why are they there or what are they trying to discuss?
Your content is on right direction but your command on language and statement formation needs a lot of work.
Good way forwards.

Marks: 2.5

Vishvjeet Holkar
Member

Q3

Parth Verma
Admin

Do discuss generic drugs in details because it is specifically asked in the question. Why are the cheaper than brand drugs? What is the difference between them? Read the questions carefully. You have to judge the width and coverage of any discussion while keeping the demand of the question at the centre. Hence your intro just cannot be juts a passing reference on generic drugs.

After introducing generic drugs, discuss the present status of drug availability and pricing in India
Rest of the answer is fine but keep writing to improve your language skills. Read the answers of your peers on this platform to get the idea of how they used the same content but with different language skills.

Very comprehensive way fowards. Keep it up.

Marks: 3.5

Vishvjeet Holkar
Member

Sir i have submitted 9th july questions also….please review them……..i don’t know how to tag a person in comments ,so i am informing u here

vinay bhalekar
Member

Q1 MOJO9620O00D18665402

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vinay bhalekar
Member

Q2 MOJO9620O00D18665402

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vinay bhalekar
Member

Q4 MOJO9620O00D18665402

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vinay bhalekar
Member

Q3 MOJO9620O00D18665402

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