15th November 2018 | Daily Answer Writing Enhancement

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Question 1)

“Paramountcy is a thing of gradual growth…… shaped partly by conquest, partly by treaty and partly by usage”. Elucidate in the context of distinct stages of British Evolution. (250 Words/15Marks)

Question 2)

What do you understand by Quad arrangement? Discuss its motive. What are the major issues Quad arrangements is facing? (150Words/10Marks)

Question 3)

The 2017 Nobel Physics Prize was awarded “for decisive contributions to the LIGO detector and the observation of gravitational waves”. What is Gravitational Wave and how are they detected? How does India’s association in LIGO-India project matters? Examine in the context of gain which India aspires. (250Words/15Marks)

Question 4)

“Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principles which direct them.” – Napoleon Bonaparte. Stating examples mention the rulers (i) who have harmed society and country, (ii) who worked for the development of society and country. (150 Words/ 15 Marks)

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Akshat Sikri
Akshat Sikri
5 years ago

CDTEST20749
ANS1
comment image comment image comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Akshat Sikri

There is no connection between the main body of the answer and your intro. You started well but there was no discussion on British paramountcy in the intro and suddenly discussion on the phase 1 started. Avoid such mistakes. Introduction should convey idea of the upcoming answer.
In the main body, the eras or timelines are not mentioned in correct manner. The correct timeline of these phases would have been:
First Phase or Policy of Ring Fence (1757-1813)
Second Phase or Policy of Sub-ordinate isolation (1813-1858)
Last Phase or Policy of Sub-ordinate union (1858-1947)
Content in the main body needs lots of work and language needs to be better.
Conclusion is decent
Marks: 4.5/15

Akshat Sikri
Akshat Sikri
5 years ago

CDTEST20749
ANS2comment image comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Akshat Sikri

Hi Akshat
Though the intentions and direction of the intro is good, but it missed to make a mark. Good use of diagram but the content of the first part lacks approach. It is too china specific. While you did mentioned its genesis in 2007, but failed to mention the motive of quad back then and jumped to discuss 2017 motive while keeping only China in the focus. There are other motives too.
In the issues of quads, the point of malabar exercise has been explained in details, but other arguments and points are just mentioned without going deep into them. Give little more info on them to gain depth in your answer and make an impact.
Conclusion is good but way forward (steps to improve functioning of quad is missing)
Marks: 5/15

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Shivani Sharma
5 years ago

CDTEST20563 Answer 2comment imagecomment imagecomment image

Shivani Sharma
Shivani Sharma
5 years ago

CDTEST20563comment imagecomment imagecomment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Shivani Sharma

Hi Shivani
Last paragraph of the first page, regarding Africa and Indo-Japan cooperation is not required in the answer.
The discussion on the motives of quad needs more teeth and direction, than the one answer provides right now. Discuss how the motives shifted from its initial days of 2007 to its current form in 2017 and how the motive is still work under process.
Discussion in the last part of the answer is OK but don’t over-explain. Keep it short and simple. You covered all the necessary arguments in that portion.
Very good conclusion. It is the gem of your answer. It gave all the necessary inputs on how to improve the working of quad. Keep it up.
Marks: 5.5/15

Shivani Sharma
Shivani Sharma
5 years ago

CDTEST20563 Answer 3comment imagecomment imagecomment imagecomment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Shivani Sharma

Hi Shivani
Introduction is poor and conveys half idea….Don’t copy the sentences as it is….mould them as per the demand of the question….
Discussion on the gravitational waves is quite good but you missed to answer how they are detected. Its implicitly asked in the question and hence should be an important part of the answer.
Before discussing importance of India-LIGO project, in a short statement, discuss its feature (where it is located, who is implementing it etc) to get more marks.
Conclusion is decent but try to write a single conclusion rather than using two separate bullet points or paragraphs. Unified intro and conclusion hold the answers beautifully. The length of the answer is a concern. Try to bring it down a bit. Cover it in less than full 3 pages.
Overall decent attempt but work on the structure and presentation.
Marks: 5.5/15

Sandeep Goyal
Sandeep Goyal
5 years ago

CD test 20392comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Sandeep Goyal

Hi Sandeep
The intro and the first part of the answer (motive of quad) are attempted in haphazard manner with no clarity. These parts of the answer does not reflect the actual motive of quad and is too china centric in its approach. In intro, discuss what is quad, how it was envisioned in 2007 but came back in scene in 2017. Then discuss what is the motive behind the formation of quad. You can also add points to discuss its relevance in present scenario to gain more marks.

In the issue discussion too, the direction is too china specific with no discussion on other hindrances which quad is facing. You should have added points like “Difference in status and interests of economies of members”; “No clarity regarding Asia in Trump Administration”; “Dependence of member states on internal political situations” etc. To score better marks, you should widen the scope of your points in IR related issues.

Don’t use newspaper statements like “puppets of USA”. Its suitable for newspaper editorials and columns but not for UPSC mains answer. Instead, in the intro, provide solutions on how to improve quad.

Marks: 4/15

prafull sharma
5 years ago

CDTEST20378 Answer- question 2
comment image comment image comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  prafull sharma

Hi Prafull
Very good and detailed intro.
How come India Japan USA and “China” share common interest? This is the last line of the first page. Don’t commit such mistakes. Discussion on the motives of quad is also good albeit this mistake. To score better, you could have added importance/relevance of quad in present scenario, in few points.
Issues are handled well and all the necessary elements have been put in the answer. Keep it up.
Conclusion is not the satisfactory. The discussion in it is just the extension of the last discussion (issues in quad) and there is nothing summarized or no suggestions for quad given in the conclusion.
Conclusion should be an optimistic end to your answer with decent suggestions to improve upon the issues of the question.
Marks: 4.5/15

prafull sharma
5 years ago
Reply to  parth verma

Ahh…. wrote china instead of Australia 🙁

Sandeep Goyal
Sandeep Goyal
5 years ago

CD Test 20392comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Sandeep Goyal

Hi Sandeep,
In intro, discuss what is ambition. That will give better starting to your answer. Work on the grammar to make your language better. With the lack of grammar, the meaning of statements gets affected and all the well intentioned discussion can lose sheen.
The direction of the answer is decent but give more examples rather than focusing on only two personalities. It will fetch you more score. Conclusion is decent.
Marks: 6/15

Shivani Sharma
Shivani Sharma
5 years ago

CDTEST20563 Answer1comment imagecomment imagecomment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Shivani Sharma

Hi Shivani
Introduction should have a little bit more discussion on British Paramountcy.
While you covered the necessary discussion, but the structure and discussion are jumbled up and done in haphazard manner. So structure of the answer is poor. You should have divided the three different techniques/periods and marked their years to make it more presentable. For example, subheadings that you could have used would have been :
First Phase or Policy of Ring Fence (1757-1813)
Second Phase or Policy of Sub-ordinate isolation (1813-1858)
Last Phase or Policy of Sub-ordinate union (1858-1947)

Good conclusion.
Marks: 4.5/15

Shivani Sharma
Shivani Sharma
5 years ago
Reply to  parth verma

Thankyou sir ,i will work on the structure

Sandeep Goyal
Sandeep Goyal
5 years ago

Q3 CD test 20392comment imagecomment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Sandeep Goyal

Hi Sandeep
The first two parts of the answer (explanation of gravitational theory and its detection) is relevant and quite decent. The only issue in the answer is with the last part where you were supposed to discuss importance of LIGO-India project and gains expected from it. Here you discussed salient features of LIGO-India project and its finer details but missed to discuss how it matters to India. This was the mandate of the question. What you discussed in the last paragraph, should be widened and made the third part of the answer. Points needed in this part were “It Indian road-map for Gravitational Wave Astronomy”; “realizing the crucial gravitational-wave observatory in the Asia-Pacific region”; “opportunities for scientists and engineers to dig deeper into the realm of gravitational wave”; “global leadership in this new astronomical frontier”; “motivation for Indian students and young scientists to explore newer frontiers of knowledge”; “further impetus to scientific research in the country” etc. These highlights importance of gravitational waves research in India.
Language and presentation of the answer is superb. It is crisp and too the point. Keep it up.
Minus marks for third part of the answer. Otherwise its solid attempt.
Marks: 5.5/15

Minakshi
Minakshi
5 years ago

CDTEST20742comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Minakshi

Hi Minakshi
Intro is good. The discussion on motive part is satisfactory too. In order to score better, you should also discuss the relevancy of quad in the region in the first part.

In the discussion regarding issues with quad, a lot of focus is given on the “lack of clarity and convergence” but it is not the sole issue being faced by quad. There are many issues like “Difference in status and interests of economies of members”; “No clarity regarding Asia in Trump Administration”; “Dependence of member states on internal political situations” etc. To score better marks, you should widen the scope of your points in IR related issues.

Conclusion, language and structure is good. Explanation is lucid.
Marks: 6/15

Shruti Pandey
Shruti Pandey
5 years ago

CDTEST20699. ANS-3comment imagecomment imagecomment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Shruti Pandey

Hi Shruti
PRESENTATION: While the intro and the second part of the answer (detection of waves) is explained in apt manner, there should be a break or gap between the two parts. Right now, it looks like a big intro paragraph. After you have discussed the concept of gravitational waves, change the paragraph and give separate heading DETECTION OF GRAVITATIONAL WAVES and continue your discussion in that sub heading. That will enhance the presentation of your answer.
The same break should be given in between second and third part of the answer (importance for India) to give clarity in the answer. These are important basics for the presentation aspect of UPSC answers. You have good handwriting and these presentation techniques will enhance your score.

CONTENT: In terms of content, answer is superb and well explained. In limited space, you have covered all the necessary discussions required. Explanation is lucid and efficient. Good use of diagram. The discussion regarding importance of research in gravitational waves in India is the gem of the answer and the approach is solid.

STRUCTURE: Like content, structure of the answer is on the expected lines and well placed. Overall nice attempt. Baring presentation, nothing wrong in the answer.

MARKS: 8/15

Kapiushon
Kapiushon
5 years ago

CDTEST20663

Answer 1

comment image comment image comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Kapiushon

Hi Kapiushon
The approach of the answer is good and it covered all the relevant portions in good manner. To score better, you should have divided the three different techniques/periods and marked their years to make it more presentable. For example, subheadings that you could have used would have been :
First Phase or Policy of Ring Fence (1757-1813)
Second Phase or Policy of Sub-ordinate isolation (1813-1858)
Last Phase or Policy of Sub-ordinate union (1858-1947)

Good conclusion. Overall decent attempt.
Marks: 7/15

Abhinav Mathur
Abhinav Mathur
5 years ago

CDTEST20777

What do you understand by Quad arrangement? Discuss its motive. What are the major issues Quad arrangements is facing? (150 words/10 Marks)

Answers: Quad arrangement is a security dialogue between four nations viz. India, Japan, U.S. and Australia. It was first formed in 2007 following the 2004 tsunami for better cooperation and coordination of maritime capabilities for disaster situations.

Its official motive is to ensure a “free, open and prosperous” Indo- Pacific region”. However, general perception among some experts is that it is formed to counter China’s growing influence in Indo- pacific region.

There are some major issues Quad arrangement is facing:

1) Lack of defined strategic mission: whether it is for disaster cooperation or something else it is not cleared.

2) Even on maritime exercises there is lack of concurrence. For example, India has not admitted Australia in Malabar exercises despite its request.

3) Whether the focus will be on maritime or will extend to include Asia- Pacific or Eurasian region.

Quad is a well founded arrangement which should ensure a “free, open and prosperous” Indo-pacific” region.

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Abhinav Mathur

Hi Abhinav
Intro is good. The discussion on motive part is satisfactory too. To get better marks, you should add few points on the relevancy of quad in the region.

In the discussion regarding issues with quad, a lot of focus is given on the “lack of clarity”. Though it is one of the issues with quad so far, but it is not the sole issue being faced by quad. There are many issues like “Difference in status and interests of economies of members”; “No clarity regarding Asia in Trump Administration”; “Dependence of member states on internal political situations” etc. To score better marks, you should widen the scope of your points in IR related issues.

You missed to provide solutions to these problems in the conclusion, specially what India should do to revive quad and make it work in its interests and benefits.

Language and structure is good.

Marks: 5.5/15

Abhinav Mathur
Abhinav Mathur
5 years ago
Reply to  parth verma

Thank you sir.
i will keep these things in mind.

hiddenwarrior
hiddenwarrior
5 years ago

CDTEST20297

What do you understand by Quad arrangement ? Discuss its motive . What are the major issues Quad arrangement is facing ?

Answer – Quad is multilateral group consisting of US , India , Japan and Australia , still in developing phase . It came into existence in 2007 to share and develop natural disaster facilities and response in Indo-Pacific region.
After that it re-emerged in last year against the growing aggressiveness of China , now again it is alive and ready to discuss its future path and objectives in the sidelines of the East Asia summit , RCEP and India – ASEAN talks where these countries having overlapping interests. Although the main objective of this group is still not clear but the potential areas are to have a more open Indo -pacific for trade and commerce ,better maritime security and shared disaster response.

Quad has a major flaw that it has yet not decided the geographical area across which it has to operate that’s why objectives seem to be shifted from time to time. The geographical distance also creates a hurdle in regular interactions . Present foreign policy of U.S. also make it difficult to create a economic atmosphere where all can share the benefits . Absence of regular meetings resulted into a sense of dullness and created a void in the region.
Despite many challenges the group has potential to emerge as a game-changer in the region. The countries of Quad are situated in a manner around the corners of pacific ocean that origin of any natural disaster can be traced very soon and other ones can be alerted in time . India must allow Australia in its Malabar Exercise , it will help in develop a better co-ordination among naval forces of Quad. India , must take initiatives to revive the Quad as it will benefit itself most , in economic terms at the same time countering its day-by-day growing neighbour China .

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  hiddenwarrior

Hi Hiddenwarrior
Right from the start till end, the answer is decent. All the required aspects of a good upsc answer – Language, Content, Structure and Presentation – are covered in holistic manner.
Nice attempt overall. Well Approached.
Marks: 7.5/15

Akshat Sikri
Akshat Sikri
5 years ago

CDTEST20749
ANS3
comment image comment image comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Akshat Sikri

Hye Akshat
* Your first part of the answer is decent and your explanation of gravitational waves is good. Good use of diagram. Language needs to be crisp though. Right now its too general.
* You failed to discuss how these waves are detected. Here you were supposed to discuss the working of LIGO detector. Refer the model answer.
* Discussion on importance for India in the research is OK but better points could have fetched you better marks. You could have added points like “It is Indian road-map for Gravitational Wave Astronomy”; “realizing the crucial gravitational-wave observatory in the Asia-Pacific region”; “opportunities for scientists and engineers to dig deeper into the realm of gravitational wave”; “global leadership in this new astronomical frontier”; “motivation for Indian students and young scientists to explore newer frontiers of knowledge”; “further impetus to scientific research in the country” etc. These highlights importance of gravitational waves research in India.

Marks: 4.5/15

anita raul
anita raul
5 years ago

comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  anita raul

Your upload is not clear and jumbled up. So reviewing accordingly.

Q4.
You started the answer really well but missed the mark in the main body, specially in the conclusion. Your should have discussed the issue by mentioning how wrong and ulterior motives can hinder greatest of ambitions and how positive energy and intentions go long way in supplementing those very ambitions. Your discussion regarding personalities is good but more depth was required in discussing how their different motives led to their rise/downfall. Conclusion tried to justified the end while discarding the means. But the idea of the question is to emphasis the mean that will lead to better end.
Work on your presentation and writing and try to make it more readable.
Marks: 5/15

Q2.
Don’t discuss the motives of Quad in the intro itself. Introduce the quad in the intro and mention its origins (how it was conceived back in 2007 but got no response and how it has been back in focus since 2017). After this, jump to the second paragraph or heading to discuss the objectives of the quad.
Coming back to the answer, the discussion on the objectives is decent and satisfactory.

In the issues faced by quad, your focus has been solely on China but there are many more issues which are hindering the focus of quad. Mainly they are: “Lack of Clarity in the objectives of quad”; “Difference in status and interests of economies of members”; “No clarity regarding Asia in Trump Administration”; “Dependence of member states on internal political situations” etc.

The conclusion needs to be better. Right now it is general in nature.
Overall much better presentation and language. Content and structure needs work.
Marks: 6/15

Q3.
The first part of the question is nicely covered. You have mentioned all the necessary details regarding gravitational waves and its detection. Presentation should be clear though in S&T questions to drive home points in better way. Hence work on your writing.
In the second part, the discussion is half cooked and did not reached its desired conclusion. In terms of the structure, the first part of the answer should have taken 40 percent space and the discussion on India and LIGO should have taken 60 percent. But currently its other way round. You did not discussed how this project will help India and how India can take advantage of it.

You should have added points like “It is Indian road-map for Gravitational Wave Astronomy”; “Indian participation in realizing the crucial gravitational-wave observatory in the Asia-Pacific region”; “opportunities for scientists and engineers to dig deeper into the realm of gravitational wave”; “take global leadership in this new astronomical frontier” “impact precision experiments and cutting-edge technology in the country”; “motivation for Indian students and young scientists to explore newer frontiers of knowledge”; “further impetus to scientific research in the country” etc. These highlights importance of gravitational waves research in India.

Marks: 4.5/15

Q1.
Very good intro.
All the parts of the answer have been discussed in lucid manner with good examples. Nothing wrong in the content, language and structure of the answer. Presentation needs work though. You have to improve your hand writing in order to score better marks consistently.

Marks: 6.5/15

anita raul
anita raul
5 years ago
Reply to  parth verma

thank u so much reviewing my answer .i will obey what ur saying.

Kapiushon
Kapiushon
5 years ago

CDTEST20663

Answer 2
comment image comment image comment image

parth verma
parth verma
5 years ago
Reply to  Kapiushon

hey kapiushon
Your intro and first part of the answer (discussion on objectives of quad) is decent and it covered all the necessary points.

But in the “Issues with Quad” you lacked multi dimensional approach and a lot of focus was given to maritime issues and concerns in India’s backyard only …you could have added points like “uncertainty regarding role of US in Asia in Trump Administration”; “Divergent Economic Situations and Interests of the members”; “Lack of Clarity regarding Approach of the grouping” etc in this portion

The conclusion and way forward should have been optimistic rather than rejecting maritime cooperation out rightly.

Overall the structure and presentation is good. Work on the language and content.
Marks awarded: 5.5/15

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