9th July 2019 | Daily Answer Writing Enhancement

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Question 1)

What are gravitational waves? What does the discovery of it hold for the world? What is the contribution of India towards this project? (250 W)

Question 2)

Charting a clear course in the Indo Pacific is required for Indian Policy. Discuss why Indo Pacific has become so important lately for all major powers. Discuss Challenges and opportunities for India in Indo-Pacific.(250 words)

Question 3)

Major cities in India are facing a water crisis. Desalinisation may be a way out Indian Urban centres. Discuss. (250 words)

Question 4)

What is stoicism? In what way self-mastery of desires and emotions help in achieving happiness? Is it always good to contain our desires and emotions? (150 W)

 

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Murari JhanikhitaVishvjeet Holkarpranab prakashparth verma Recent comment authors
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sourav singh
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parth verma
Admin

Hi SOurav
Kindly upload your answers on the CD website. We do not have access to your files
Thanks

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q1

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parth verma
Admin

Hi Kunal
Apart from the discussion you had in the answer, you conclusion is perhaps the most excellent part.
Your answer has all the necessary elements and balance is superb.
discussion is not too technical and yet you have covered all the major facets of the gravitational wave issue.
Good that you discussed the issue with Indian contribution in the end.

Marks: 6.5

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q2

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parth verma
Admin

There are certain points that can be added in the discussion like the fact that it is a multi polar region, contributing more than half of the world’s GDP and population.
The motivation for a larger bloc always comes from the sheer size, resources it owns, and, the scope and size of the economies of scale that it can generate.
This is, in fact, a region in which several Asian powers are once again rising, especially in geo-economic terms.

China’s Belt and Road Initiative, Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), RCEP, trilateral free trade agreement (FTA) between China, Japan, and South Korea, the USA and the EU free trade agreement (FTA) in the region has also gained momentum recently.

These are important points due to which major players are interested in the pie of Indo Pacific.

Your main body of the answer is OK.
But once you discussed the challenges in front of India, do mention the way forwards as a concluding remark. Otherwise the answer looks as if ending abruptly.
Coverage of the answer in the main body is decent.

Marks: 3.5

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q3

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parth verma
Admin

The answer is in right direction.
But in the first part of the discussion regarding de-salination, more inputs and clarity are needed.
What is de-salination? Give more points in its suitability. Do mention the Israel example.
Good challenges and way forwards.

Marks: 4.5

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q4

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parth verma
Admin

A good answer
1st part is written nicely
Balance is there with all the interlinking discussions.
But scope of improvement is there
Nudge it gently towards paper 4 answer by bringing some more ethical issues arising out of desire and emotions and give more examples regarding normal day to day life.

Marks: 4

Ashok Reddy
Member

MOJO9617700D58501398
Q1

parth verma
Admin

Hi Ashok
Answer started really well but lost steam with the second part.
It ends abruptly and there is no coherence between discussion of both parts.
Points in the 1st part are OK but 2nd part is totally not covered holistically.
Read the model answer.
Good intro though.

Marks: 2

Prakhar Bharadwaj
Member

Q1 paid

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parth verma
Admin

Hi Prakhar
The discussion quality of the answer is excellent.
You have covered all the major dimensions of the questions without being too technical.
The 2nd part of the answer, where you discussed the contribution of India is quite decent.
Opportunity that it presents to India is nicely discussed.
All in all very good answer right from the start till the end.

Marks: 6

Prakhar Bharadwaj
Member

Q3

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parth verma
Admin

Rather than focusing too much on the reasons for present water crisis in Urban India, discuss the present status of urban water crisis. Thats a better approach.
Its good that you discussed the reasons in details but it is not needed.
Similarly no need to discuss the possible solutions here. Stick to the demands of the question. Do not go way beyond the peripheral demands
This structure is not suited for the answer.
What is de-salination?
Points in the challenges are not well placed. Instead talk about the wastage of resources, high cost of the technology, salt on the coast due to these plants, effects on marine life etc. These are relevant challenges. Read the model answer.
Better conclusion.

Marks: 2

Prakhar Bharadwaj
Member

Q2

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parth verma
Admin

No. Indo Pacific is not the eastern coast of India. It extends till the eastern coast of AFRICAN Continent.
Dont be factually incorrect in the first statement of your answer. Thats really bad for the answer.
Link the intro with the demand of the question. Its not solving any purpose as of now.
What are the strategic importance of the area?

It is a multi polar region, contributing more than half of the world’s GDP and population.
The motivation for a larger bloc always comes from the sheer size, resources it owns, and, the scope and size of the economies of scale that it can generate.
This is, in fact, a region in which several Asian powers are once again rising, especially in geo-economic terms.

China’s Belt and Road Initiative, Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), along with RCEP, trilateral free trade agreement (FTA) between China, Japan, and South Korea, the USA and the EU free trade agreement (FTA) in the region has also gained momentum recently.

These are important points due to which major players are interested in the pie of Indo Pacific.

Better points are needed in challenges portion like :
integration of the IORA, growing Chinese footprint, integration the Quadrilateral initiative with its larger Indo-Pacific approach; differences between India’s vision and the U.S.’s strategy for the Indo-Pacific; freedom of navigation; freedom of over flights in the region; slow pace of delivery by India on its commitment etc.

Good conclusion

Marks: 2.5

Prakhar Bharadwaj
Member

Q4

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parth verma
Admin

Decent answer.
Good example.
Both pare covered in right manner and balance is right.

Marks: 5

Mohsin Khursheed
Member

Q2. MOJO9615J00A46183569

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parth verma
Admin

Near perfect answer.
Your use of subheading is amazing.
The approach of PESTEL technique in the 1st part is excellent.
All the parts are covered in perfect manner.
Their points are apt and well placed.
All the major dimensions of the issue has been covered in comprehensive manner.
Good way forwards.
Very good. keep it Up.

Marks: 6.5

Mohsin Khursheed
Member

Q4. MOJO9615J00A46183569

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parth verma
Admin

Hi Mohsin
While the balance and the discussion of the answer are decent but there is scope of improvement.
Avoid such large paragraphs.
You have used lengthy paragraphs in both parts.
Thats a wrong approach.
Whatever good discussion you are heaving in these parts are negated by the lengthy statements and paragraphs. Avoid them
Give examples in your second part as well.

marks: 4

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q1

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q1.

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parth verma
Admin

Hi Utkarsh
Your 2nd part is perhaps the most excellent part in the answer.
Answer has all the necessary elements and balance is superb.
Discussion is not too technical and yet you have covered all the major facets of the gravitational wave issue.
Good that you discussed the issue with Indian contribution in the end and decent way forward.
This bodes well with your marks eventually. These little things.

Marks: 6.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q2

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parth verma
Admin

Balance of the answer is quite off.
In the first part use sub headings.
You have discussed the 1st part in less than one page and gave more than one and a half pages for the challenges portion. That is not the ideal of dividing the attention.
better points are needed in both parts like:

What are the strategic importance of the area?

It is a multi polar region, contributing more than half of the world’s GDP and population.
The motivation for a larger bloc always comes from the sheer size, resources it owns, and, the scope and size of the economies of scale that it can generate.
This is, in fact, a region in which several Asian powers are once again rising, especially in geo-economic terms.

China’s Belt and Road Initiative, Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), along with RCEP, trilateral free trade agreement (FTA) between China, Japan, and South Korea, the USA and the EU free trade agreement (FTA) in the region has also gained momentum recently.

These are important points due to which major players are interested in the pie of Indo Pacific.

Better points are needed in challenges portion like :
integration of the IORA, integration the Quadrilateral initiative with its larger Indo-Pacific approach; differences between India’s vision and the U.S.’s strategy for the Indo-Pacific; freedom of navigation; freedom of over flights in the region; slow pace of delivery by India on its commitment etc.

Your way forward is week. Work on it as well.

Marks: 3

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q3

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parth verma
Admin

Your 1st part needed more content in certain aspects.
2nd part is discussed on right track.
Good way forwards.
In the first part after intro, discuss briefly the situation of water crisis in Urban areas and briefly mention the reasons. This should not take much space and then jump to the discussion on de-salination.
Also give more points regarding the de-salination +ves

Marks: 3.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q4

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parth verma
Admin

Decent 2nd part.
1st part is also good but need more relevant examples.
Overall discussion i satisfactory.
But do take the discussion intro ethical domain and discuss in that context as well.
Also do highlight the examples keeping civil services or governance in mind.

Marks: 3.5

Varsha Chauhan
Member

MOJO9611C00A14581096 Q1

parth verma
Admin

Hi Varsha
Good answer.
Overall the discussion is on the right track.
In the end though, briefly discuss where can India improve wrt LIGO (for example India was not involved with the hardware set up and it can certainly improve in this regard.)
Apart from that, nothing to improve in the answer. The points and language are good.

Marks: 4.5

Varsha Chauhan
Member

MOJO9611C00A14581096 Q2

parth verma
Admin

Good use of diagram . Keep it up.
Decent 1st part. Points are right.
2nd part is more comprehensive than the 1st part.
Your discussion has all the required details for Indo-Pacific question.
Points are very well framed and language crisp.

Marks: 6.5

Varsha Chauhan
Member

MOJO9611C00A14581096 Q4

parth verma
Admin

The discussion towards the end of the answer is the one holding this answer together. that is an amazing part of the answer.
Your overall answer is quite good and on the right track. Points are well explained and well suited for ethic paper.
Language is simple yet crisp. Once again really good answer.

marks: 5.5

Prem S
Member

MOJO9702600D48960870
Q1

parth verma
Admin

Hi Prem
Please use subheadings and wherever you have used them, frame them in better way for the understanding of the examiner.
In terms of discussion it has all the necessary points.
Presentation is really good but work on your language a bit. It has to be attractive than the one it has right now. With the writing that you have, a decent language will be icing on the cake.
Overall the discussion is on the right track.
In the end though, briefly discuss where can India improve wrt LIGO (for example India was not involved with the hardware set up and it can certainly improve in this regard.)

Marks: 4

Prem S
Member

MOJO9702600D48960870
Q3

parth verma
Admin

Rather than focusing too much on the reasons for present water crisis in Urban India, discuss the present status of urban water crisis. Thats a better approach.
Its good that you discussed the reasons in details but it is not needed.
Similarly no need to discuss the possible solutions here. Stick to the demands of the question. Do not go way beyond the peripheral demands
This structure is not suited for the answer.
What is de-salination? That should come in the 3rd paragraph of the answer and not so late.
Again you have discussed the -ves of the de-salination in length but did not focus on certain +ves of the process.
You have to have perfect balance which was missing in the answer. The demand of the answer was simple:
Mention Water Crisis in major cities.
Explain Desalinisation.
Give benefits and challenges in the use of technology.
Conclude suggesting some reforms.

Marks: 2.5

Prem S
Member

MOJO9702600D48960870
Q4

parth verma
Admin

The answer lacks content and required depth, specially for the second part of the answer where you were supposed to answer: “Is it always good to contain our desires and emotions?”.
read the questions carefully and before attempting them, read the mentors note given below them to understand the demand and required approach to the answer.
Examples are missing. Paper 4 need good and relevant examples

Marks: 2

avani k
Member

Q1

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parth verma
Admin

Hi Avani
Dont use heading in intro! Like you mentioned Gravitational Wave in the 1st line and then discussed its definition! Avoid this style of presentation.
Good start.
You sure about the points regarding aviation and space travel in 2nd point of the importance of gravitational wave?
Better points are needed in this part. Points are way too general in nature.
Good second part.
In the end though, briefly discuss where can India improve wrt LIGO (for example India was not involved with the hardware set up and it can certainly improve in this regard.)
read the model answer.

Marks: 3

avani k
Member

Q2

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parth verma
Admin

Good intro.
Perfect use of diagram. But do highlight the indo pacific portion in it.
Way forward is the weakest link in an otherwise near perfect discussion.
You have scrambled up to put way forwards in the last part. Avoid it. It should be comprehensive.
A better way to structure your answer to save space is that while you were discussing why major powers are interested in the region, briefly mention India’s interests too. No need to separately discuss the +ves for India. This will save space and time.
Rest of the discussion is OK.
Better way forwards are needed.

marks: 3.5

avani k
Member

Q3

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parth verma
Admin

Good intro.
Do not focusing too much on the reasons for present water crisis in Urban India but discuss the present status of urban water crisis instead. Thats a better approach.
Its good that you discussed the reasons in details but it is not needed.
Rest of the answer is perfectly balanced and discussed.
Concrete points in all the other parts of your answer.
Decent way forwards.

Marks: 4.5

avani k
Member

Q4

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parth verma
Admin

Good 1st part.
But the 2nd part lacks content and required depth, where you were supposed to answer: “Is it always good to contain our desires and emotions?”.
Read the questions carefully and before attempting them, read the mentors note given below them to understand the demand and required approach to the answer.
Examples are missing.
Paper 4 need good and relevant examples

Marks: 2

aastha gupta
Member

MOJ09618Q00D99211048

parth verma
Admin

Hi Aastha
Admirable intro of the answer.
Please use subheadings before each paragraph to show the direction of your answer.
Its more important when you structure is based on paragraph styles rather than bullet points.
Again god 2nd part.
In the end though, briefly discuss where can India improve wrt LIGO (for example India was not involved with the hardware set up and it can certainly improve in this regard.)

Marks: 5

Chandan Kumar
Member

MOJO9629P00A61168231
Q1

parth verma
Admin

Hi Chandan
Intro is fine but after intro, give a little bit of more background regarding gravitational waves.
Your discussion in the 1st part of the answer is on right track but you need more depth and more coverage in your points.
Good 2nd part and quite a decent conclusion.
But before conclusion, briefly discuss where can India improve wrt LIGO (for example India was not involved with the hardware set up and it can certainly improve in this regard.)

Marks: 4

Chandan Kumar
Member

MOJO9629P00A61168231
Q2

parth verma
Admin

Link the intro with the demand of the question. Its just a single statement right now.
Once again like the last answer, the direction of the first part is correct but there are not many points.
You missed various key points regarding why world is interested in Indo Pacific like This is, in fact, a region in which several Asian powers are once again rising, especially in geo-economic terms. China’s Belt and Road Initiative, Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP), along with RCEP, trilateral free trade agreement (FTA) between China, Japan, and South Korea, the USA and the EU free trade agreement (FTA) in the region has also gained momentum recently. These are important points due to which major players are interested in the pie of Indo Pacific.

The second part is OK but again, more angles could have been provided like integration of the IORA, growing Chinese footprint, integration the Quadrilateral initiative with its larger Indo-Pacific approach; differences between India’s vision and the U.S.’s strategy for the Indo-Pacific; freedom of navigation; freedom of over flights in the region; slow pace of delivery by India on its commitment etc.

Your language and understanding of the topic is decent. Do work on reflecting those thoughts in better way in your answer and give more points.

Marks: 3

Chandan Kumar
Member

MOJO9629P00A61168231
Q3

parth verma
Admin

Please read the mentors note for each question before writing its answer. In the first part after intro, discuss briefly the situation of water crisis in Urban areas and briefly mention the reasons. This should not take much space and then jump to the discussion on de-salination.
The supposed direction of the answer was this:

Give intro about water crisis on all parts of India and link the issue with de-salination
Mention Water Crisis in major cities.
Explain Desalinisation.
Give benefits and challenges in the use of technology.
Conclude suggesting some reforms.

Avoid continuous numbering of points in whole of the answer like 1 2 3 4 5 6 etc. Once a discussion end, the number should afresh in the new discussion. Thats a better way of presenting points. Otherwise there is no point of subheadings.
Give more points in both the parts of discussion on de-salination.
read model answers.
Good way forward but the last part is discussed in way too much detail. That should not be the case. After way forwards, just use one paragraph for your conclusion.

Marks: 2

Chandan Kumar
Member

MOJO9629P00A61168231
Q4

parth verma
Admin

Balance of the answer is off.
The answer lacks content and required depth, specially for the second part of the answer where you were supposed to answer: “Is it always good to contain our desires and emotions?”.
read the questions carefully and before attempting them, read the mentors note given below them to understand the demand and required approach to the answer.
Examples are not very good. Paper 4 need good and relevant examples.
Nudge your discussion gently towards paper 4 answer by bringing some more ethical issues arising out of desire and emotions and give more examples regarding normal day to day life.
Read the model answer.

Marks: 1.5

nikhita
Member

Q1

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nikhita
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Q2

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nikhita
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nikhita
Member

Kindly review my answers sir. Im a paid student

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