“Mentor’s Comments”
In introduction talk about the various foreign invaders coming to India as they were attracted by the the richness of Indian subcontinent
In first part of body talk about the resulting political turmoil and changing political scenario in India due to such invasions
In second part talk about how it led to enrichment of Art and Culture touching upon various art forms and cultural practices.
Conclude with remarks depicting richness Indian Art and Culture and it being a epitome of intermingling of various different cultures.
Please review.
Neha,
Introduction is very well written.
But in body you gave too much space to political turmoil, give it lesser space and more space to A&C section.
Also few points in this section doesn’t reflect political turmoil essentially like Aryans Samitis Sabhas, military governorships Etc rather these are administrative innovations which continued in India even after invaders gone for long.
In second Second it would be better, if you use various fields of A&C as headings then writing contributions of the invaders.
Overall answer is Good. Keep writing 🙂
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Naresh,
Your introduction is in very long , club first two paragraphs and write a concise intro in 3-4 lines.
You have understood ques well also wrote both aspects. But there are following few issues:
1. you need to work upon the structure of the question, you have written very long paragraphs,
2 You should use headings for makin different sections easily distinguishable
3. you have give much space to political section which is of lesser priority, you should focus more and give more space to A&C section of the answer,
4 divide A&C section under subheadings like Architecture, Religion etc.
6. Conclusion is fine but again its too long.
Knowledge here is not the issue, just structure and arrangement of the answer needs to be improved.
Please review
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Aabha,
Introduction is fine but still can be improved upon.
You have covered both the sections in your answer, but there are issues like:
1. Always try to write small paragraphs
2. Divide your answer under headings and subheadings so make various sections visible
3. Content of political section is fine.
4. But Content of core section, A&C, is not good. Foreign Influence aspect would be addressed better if you divide answer in sections like Language, architecture, religion, coinage etc.
Conclusion is fine.
Read others’ answer as well, Keep writing 🙂
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Vishal,
Introduction is really good.
In main body you should write more about the political turmoil as its also part of the question, mere passing reference in intro is not enough.
A&C section is fine but can be divided under various headers like Architecture, Sculpture, language etc it will make answer more presentable.
Conclusion is also good.
Overall ans is fine. just give equitable space to each section of the question.
Please review
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Utkarsha,
Your introduction and conclusion is very good.
But answer couldn’t justify the demand of the question.
There are two sections of the question political turmoil and influence on A&C.
You just gave a small reference to political turmoil rather you should discuss it in bit more detail.
A&C is the section is the core demad of the question, which you have written but its limited to medieval period and architecture , rather you should write influence of various foreigners (from ancient to British) on various form of A&C, which will make it a whole answer.
Also UPSC gives 3 pages for a 15 marks question so try to practice answer in standard space only.
Keep Practicing 🙂
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Kartikey,
Your introduction and conclusion is fine.
Structure is also good, you have covered both the aspects equitably.
please take a note of the fact that Aryan’s coming to India is no longer termed as invasion in History writing, rather it’s termed now Aryan migration.
Also in A&C you can make Various forms of art as heading as single form of art has been influenced by various foreigners eg. Religion, paintings Architecture etc.
Over all answer is really well written, keep writing 🙂
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Deepanshu,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are very well written.
In Main body you need to give more weightage to the political turmoil aspect right from the attack of Darius I of Persia in 5-6th century BC up to the coming of British.
there is detailed Coverage of A&C section which is core part of the question.
So over all answer is good just try to write all the possible aspects of the question.
Keep writing 🙂
Please review sir
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Sushmita,
You have understood the question and your answer is also fine over all. Introduction and conclusion are really very well written. It seems you have enough knowledge of the topic.
But this is a 15 marks question so you have to write in a bit more detail. In political section need to covered in more detail.
You will get 3 pages for a 15 marks question so you must dedicate at least 1 page for the section of lesser importance (Political turmoil in this que) and use 2 pages for core demand of the question (influence of A&C).
In A&C Section you can add fields like Numismatics, Language, Dance, Sculpture Etc.
Read Others’ answers as well and Keep Practicing 🙂
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Vamsidhar,
Your introduction and Conclusion are fine but they can be improved up on.
Over all answer is fine but there are few factual errors like:
Aryan’s Coming to India is no longer considered as invasion rather it’s termed as Aryan Migration in History writing now.
UPSC Considered in a ans to prelims question that Horses were found in India in IVC;
Guptas were indigenous rulers.
Try to avoid making such mistakes, gives a bad impression.
Also You need discuss political turmoil aspect in detail, which you missed.
Read question properly, address all the possible aspects of question and Keep practicing 🙂
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Sakshi,
This is a 15 marks question so you must use 3 pages for it.
your Introduction to the answer is fine but can be improved upon
In main body you have covered both the aspects which is good, but in political turmoil section must also mention invasions during Medieval and Modern times ( mentioning it in intro is not enough).
In A&C section of rather then writing influence ruler wise, using various form of A&C as your headings will be more impactful as Single form of art has been influenced by various rulers for example Architecture, paintings Etc.
Conclusion is written well.
Read others’ answers as well, Keep writing 🙂
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Shivanshu,
You upload same page twice. Pls Be careful from next time.
first invasion Indian subcontinent faced was in 5th-6th century BC by Darius I, Just don’t write specific year if you are not sure 100%, especially in introduction.
Going by your answer it seems you have decent Idea of the subject.
But structure and arrangement of the answer is poor so you have to work upon that.
Points that you have written under political turmoil, other then rebellions, are administrative changes or innovations can not be written as political turmoil.
Also you in A&C section of the answer you must use various forms of art as main heading than depicting various influences on those forms of arts.
Read others’ answer as well, keep writing 🙂
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Gauri Shankar,
you have written a fine Introduction, Conclusion can be written better.
In main body of the answer you missed a whole section i.e. political turmoil, must write about it in detail, just passing reference is not enough.
In A&C section better way to depict the influence use various forms of art and culture as your heading as a single form of A&C has been influenced by various invaders.
Also try to inculcate modern invaders i.e. British in the answer.
You have fine knowledge of the topic, just work upon presentation also answer all the sections equitably.
Keep Writing 🙂
kindly review
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Answer to 1st question
Vivek,
You have written a very apt introduction.
Thoroughly covered Political turmoil section of the question, just underline atleast the Headings for various parts of the answer, it becomes easier to distinguish one part from other.
But you haven’t covered A&C well enough. You can divide this section with various forms of arts as subheadings then writing various foreign influences on them.
Either you forgot to upload the third page or haven’t written the conclusion. Always write conclusion to the answer.
Read Others’ answers as well, Keep practicing 🙂
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Here is the answer sheet. Sorry for double posting
Sumita,
Your introduction is good but it is very long, try to write shorter introductions.
You Just gave passing reference to the political turmoil aspect of the question, you must write it in more detail.
The A&C section is really well written, covered it thoroughly. Just avoid making factual errors like you did with Saka era ( Origins still controversial but as per recent reseach it is supposed to started with ascension of king Chashtana, more so Kanishka was a Kushana king not Saka)
Also It would better if you divide this section as per various forms of arts.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep Practicing 🙂
Thank you, Sir.
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Anupam,
Introduction and conclusion are good.
Going by your answer It seems you have enough knowledge of the topic. But you need to write more analytical answer, you have just written about the historical events, in Political turmoil means section should talk about continuous rise and fall big empires, rebellions, political disintegration of India then using facts to support your argument Etc.
Same is applied for A&C section, facts are for substantiating your answers, here you must divide your answer with various forms of art as sub headings than depicting enrichment of those forms separately.
In the end I want add, pls take it more seriously, UPSC gives 3 pages for a 15 marks question. practice like you will write in mains exam hall.
Keep writing 🙂
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Ehtasham,
Your understanding of the topic is good. Introduction is fine but its very long, must write short introduction.
In main body you must give due space to political turmoil section of the question, giving passing reference to which is not enough.
You have written A&C section well, but it can written better with various forms of arts as headings, this will help you in depicting influence by various foreign invaders on the same form of art at one place.
Conclusion is fine.
Over all fine answer just try to cover all the possible aspects of a question, Keep Writing 🙂
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Mradul,
Your introduction is fine, but can be made more directly relatable with the question, also when you use terms other than your medium of exam then just translate them and write in bracket.
You have attempted both the sections of the question but political turmoil section must be be more analytical add points like, disintegration of empires, political instability rebellions and bloodshed, continuous rise and fall of states Etc.
Second section is very well written.
Conclusion is also good.
Keep Practicing 🙂
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Arpit,
You have articulated your introduction and conclusion really well.
In main body you need to talk about “political turmoil’ in bit more detail just mentioning name is not enough.
In A&C section you should write influences on each art forms separately and cover more fields like Language, religion, literature Etc.
It would be better to make a form of art a heading itself as a single artform has been influenced by multiple foreign agents for instance Paintings which are influenced by Persian and Europeans.
Your presentation, way of expression is good, just try to identify all the possible aspects of the question and address them with equitable weightage.
Keep Writing 🙂
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@Swatantra sir. Did you just miss my answer. 😊 Because you have commented on my Q. 2) submission but this being Q. 1) is not having your comments.
Rupesh,
Firstly I want to tell you that your all answers will be evaluated just pls be patient.
Now coming to the question, it seems your option is psychology as being reflected by your intro. It’s a GS paper so try to write intro which is simple and easily relatable to the topic.
In main body you have covered various invaders, but you missed a whole section that is political turmoil caused by these invaders like rise and fall of empires, rebellions, decentralization and centralization of the authority Etc.
In second part you had to talk about the influence on A&C, which you did but presentation of the arguments can be improved upon.
Better way to address this section is using Various forms of arts as heading itself then using facts to depicts foreign influence.
Conclusion can also be written better.
Read question properly, address all the aspects, use headings which fulfills the demand of the question.
Your way of expression is good, also knowledge is also not an issue.
Just keep practicing 🙂
Kindly review
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Rajlaxmi,
Introduction to the answer is fine.
But in body you have written mainly facts however the nature of the question is analytical, so rather then giving timelines of historical events in first section you need to talk about Political turmoil caused by these invasions like continuous rise and fall of empires, rebellions, political disintegration of India then using facts to support your argument Etc.
Also In history timeline is very important here you mixed it, like writing Lodi (rather use Turkish and afghan to cover whole Islamic invader before Babur) thn again back to ancient Bactrians and Kushans (also its Kanishka not Kalinga).
In A&C divide answer with various forms of art as sub headings than depicting influences on those forms separately. Add fields like language, literature, religion etc
Rajlaxmi, You have enough factual knowledge just focus more on analysis part.
Read Others’ answer as well and keep writing 🙂
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Shikar,
Since you pointed out geographical location of India, must mention passes like Khyber and Bolan from where most of the invaders entered in India.
In main body of the answer you aptly written political turmoil aspect, it would be better if you had given timeline of various invaders as well.
Second section i.e. A&C is also very well addressed but you forgot a very important field that is paintings to mention.
Pls avoid factual error like- Mauryan architecture have influences Greek, rather its Persian.
Very well concluded in the end.
Over all a good attempt keep writing.
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Santosh
Introduction to the answer is fine but still can be improved upon.
Question demands you to address two sections first political turmoil caused by the invasions second enrichment of the A&C.
You haven’t addressed the first section here you can talk about rise and fall of the empires, wars, end of indigenous powers, rise of feudalism etc.
Also Aryan’s coming to India is no longer considered Invasions in history writing rather it’s termed as Aryan Migration now.
Second section, can also be written better, here you can use various forms of A&C like architecture, paintings, religion Etc., as headings then writing various influences on them for instance Paintings are influenced by Persian and Europeans.
You can also write better conclusion by pointing out how these influences has added to rich Diversity of Indian art and culture which continues to be manifested in present time as well
Read answers written by other as well, Keep writing 🙂
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Vishnu,
It’s a 15 marker questions, must use 3 pages for it.
Introduction to the question covered in first two paragraphs which is very long. You could’ve clubbed both together and written short introduction.
You haven’t addressed the first section here you can talk about rise and fall of the empires, wars, end of indigenous powers, rise of feudalism etc.
In second section is addressed but it would be better if you divide it in sub headings like Architecture, paintings than writing influence of various foreigners.
Conclusion has written well.
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