12th July 2019 | Daily Answer Writing Enhancement

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Question 1)

The largest gain of the Congress ministries during the 18-month government post 1937 elections was psychological gain for Indians. In light of the above statement, explain the important steps taken by Congress ministries in Provinces. (250 W)

Question 2)

India will be the most populous country in a decade. How can it be ensured that it turns into a demographic dividend and not a demographic disaster?(250 words)

Question 3)

Witness Protection Scheme, 2018 is a reformative step in criminal justice system. Critically analyse.(250 words)

Question 4)

Are justice, freedom and equality doles to the ruled, given by the superior authority (nature) or by the government? (150 W)

 

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sourav singh
Member
Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Kunal
the level of discussion and the flow is really good.
You did not veered away from the demand of the topic and its is commendable because it is a tricky question where students might indulge in over explanation and going away from the periphery of the issue.
The language is good.
the main focus is on way forwards which is the required approach of the question.
The 1st part is dealt in commendable manner.

Marks: 7

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q3

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Parth Verma
Admin

The content in the first part is good.
There are many more loopholes and issues with the program that could have been mentioned like lack of empirical study; impractical idea of hiding the identity of a witness and the witnesses would perhaps not like this to happen to them; police are unlikely to make any meaningful threat analysis for a witness; lack of infrastructure in lower courts; frequent adjournment of cases, etc.
There is also a scope of improvement in your presentation. While changing the course of discussion, you should provide sub headings so that correct direction can be gauged. This applies specially because you are writing in paragraph format hence subheadings become necessary at various junctures of your answers.
The concluding paragraph is really decent and optimistic.

Marks: 4.5

Kunal Aggarwal
Member

Q4

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Parth Verma
Admin

Very good attempt.
The examples of terrorism and free legal aid are well placed.
The necessary balance is there in the answer.
Your conclusion is the soul of the discussion and aptly put.
Keep writing like this.

Marks: 6

pranita kale
Member

Payment ID
MOJO9620S00A18684466
Q1

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Pranita
You have tried to be exhaustive in your discussion in the main part but there is a better way of presenting and structuring the content.
Rather than discussing state wise programs, you should discuss them in terms of fields like agrarian reforms, civil liberty reforms, social reforms etc. That way you can target the issue in better manner.
While discussing the issues with the ministries there are many more points like lacuna in agrarian reforms and vendetta against communists etc which could have been added.
Good conclusion

Marks: 3.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q1

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Utkarsh
Use subheadings when starting a new discussion
The first part of the answer is good.
But the 2nd part needs better and more content. Mention the agrarian reforms, civil liberty reforms, social reforms, press reforms etc.
Before ending the answer, mention the shortcomings of these ministries like lacuna in agrarian reforms and vendetta against communists and communal politics etc.
Good conclusion

Marks: 3

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

Use subheadings in your answers.
The discussion is ok but better explanation was required in the second part.
Points are comprehensive though some points are general in nature which can be made better by better explanation like filling up the vacancies or FDI in certain sectors.
Good 1st half.

Marks: 3.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q3

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Parth Verma
Admin

The answer has been approached in lucid manner.
You have covered all the necessary parts in apt manner.
Discussion and depth in it are good.
Use subheadings like you did in the first part of the answer.
Way forwards could have been made better and comprehensive.

marks: 4.5

Utkarsh Saxena
Member

q4

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Parth Verma
Admin

The discussion, specially in the first few paragraphs are quite vague and outside the periphery of the question asked.
You have to simply discuss whether justice, freedom and equality are available to us naturally or government has to intervene in order to provide them to us?
To what extent is the government responsible for justice, freedom and equality? And how different is it from natural rights.
This should have been your expected lines.

Marks: 2

pranita kale
Member

Payment ID
MOJO9620S00A18684466
Q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

The discussion on the issue is quite vague and not concrete.
Your 1/3rd part of the discussion should be focused on the challenges of over population in coming years and next 2/3rd in discussing their solutions.
What is the nature and potential of DD in India, Pattern in India
Merits of the DD – savings, increased labour supply, human capital, economic growth etc. one should explain these with examples.
What are the main concerns?
What needs to be done to overcome these challenges and concerns and reap the benefits of the DD?
Simple.
You discussed a lot in the challenges part but you had to simply discuss challenges wrt Poor human capital; Low human development; Jobless growth; Falling female labour force participation; Poor Socio-Economic factors etc.
Good conclusion

Marks: 2.5

Prakhar Bharadwaj
Member

Q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Prakhar
Your first part of the answer is weak.
Otherwise very good 2nd part in terms of presentation, discussion and coverage.
In the 1st part, You discussed a lot in the challenges part but you had to simply discuss challenges wrt Poor human capital; Low human development; Jobless growth; Falling female labour force participation; Poor Socio-Economic factors etc.
Apart from this, very good discussion.

marks: 5.5

Prakhar Bharadwaj
Member

Q3

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Parth Verma
Admin

Good 1st part.
Highlights of the program are discussed in comprehensive manner.
But your discussion on the weakness is not upto mark.
There are many more loopholes and issues with the program that could have been mentioned like lack of empirical study; impractical idea of hiding the identity of a witness and the witnesses would perhaps not like this to happen to them; police are unlikely to make any meaningful threat analysis for a witness; lack of infrastructure in lower courts; frequent adjournment of cases, etc.
Better way forwards are needed.
Good conclusion

Marks: 2.5

Prakhar Bharadwaj
Member

Q4

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Parth Verma
Admin

You have to simply discuss whether justice, freedom and equality are available to us naturally or government has to intervene in order to provide them to us?
To what extent is the government responsible for justice, freedom and equality? And how different is it than being provided naturally?
This should have been your expected lines.
read the answer of Kunal Agarwal for this question.

Marks: 2

Mohsin Khursheed
Member

Q2. MOJO9615J00A46183569

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Mohsin
Your intro is bit big. You can divide it and give a break from the point you discussed the UN report. That part should come after your intro.
What are the challenges in this regard? You havent mentioned them
you had to simply discuss challenges wrt Poor human capital; Low human development; Jobless growth; Falling female labour force participation; Poor Socio-Economic factors etc.
Apart from this, very good discussion.
Dimensions covered by you are good.

Marks: 4

Mohsin Khursheed
Member

Q4. MOJO9615J00A46183569

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Parth Verma
Admin

The discussion, specially in the first parts are unclear and outside the periphery of the question asked.
You have to simply discuss whether justice, freedom and equality are available to us naturally or government has to intervene in order to provide them to us?
To what extent is the government responsible for justice, freedom and equality? And how different is it from natural rights.
This should have been your expected lines.
It is the debate of ‘Positive Law’ and ‘Natural Law’. Natural law begins with the premise thatall of our rights come from God or nature and are inherent to our being. Positive law, on the other hand, believes that our rights are granted by the government, society or other men and therefore can be taken back by them as well.
If seen in the present context, justice, freedom and equality are dependable on the government. If it is granted by the Constitution or the state then only it is applicable. As in case of North Korea, these rights are highly restricted because of the government there. If it had been inherent then it would have been equal in all the regions.
The culture, socially approved norms also equally plays an important role, that’s why every nation even democratic, places reasonable restrictions on the people to maintain just and stable society. This shows that no rights are absolute.

marks: 1.5

Ria Chaudhary
Member

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Q4

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Ria
Please work on your hand writing. Its quite unreadable in most parts of the answers.
Also kindly upload clear pictures.
Never start the answer in rhetoric. Keep the content of your answer simple and crisp. Rhetoric are well suited for speeches and newspaper articles.
As most parts of the answers are unreadable hence I cannot comment on it.

Ria Chaudhary
Member

Q3

Ria Chaudhary
Member

Q3

Chandan Kumar
Member

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Q2

Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Chandan
Very good first part.
The use of flowchart is quite decent and well explained.
Keep it up.
But you missed the demand of the question when you focused quite less in the 2nd part.
Ideally Your 1/3rd part of the discussion should be focused on the challenges of over population in coming years and next 2/3rd in discussing their solutions.
There are hardly 3 points in the way forwards whereas question specifically asked that “How can it be ensured that it turns into a demographic dividend and not a demographic disaster?”
Always read the questions carefully and do not veer away from the mandate of the question.

Marks: 2.5

Chandan Kumar
Member

MOJO9629P00A61168231
Q3

Parth Verma
Admin

Very good intro.
But you missed to write the highlight of the program. It is mist to write key features of anything related to scheme/act/law/bill/draft/program if asked in the mains.
So after intro, you have to have a subheading detailing all the imp features of the program.
And secondly its not a bill. Its a program. Avoid such factually incorrect statements.
The discussion in the pros and cons are well placed.
Stop writing numbers before each point. That is not called for. Instead write the numbers in particular subheading if you want and then again start from 1 in new subheading. This continuous numbering from start till end is not required.
Good way forwards.

Marks: 3.5

pranab prakash
Member

Payment ID MOJO9611300N14575632
Q1

Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Pranab
Very good discussion.
You have covered almost all the necessary discussion.
Structure could be improved. You have to discuss their success and then discuss their failures. Failures in the answers are mentioned as passing remarks.
Rest there is nothing wrong in the answer.
Well done.
Good language.

Marks: 4.5

pranab prakash
Member

Payment ID MOJO9611300N14575632
Q2

Parth Verma
Admin

Your structure of the answer is totally misplaced.
Way forwards is the only part in the answer.
1/3rd part of the discussion should be focused on the challenges of over population in coming years and next 2/3rd in discussing their solutions.
What is the nature and potential of DD in India, Pattern in India
Merits of the DD – savings, increased labour supply, human capital, economic growth etc. one should explain these with examples.
What are the main concerns?
Then only your solutions will come. Simple.
You had to simply discuss challenges wrt Poor human capital; Low human development; Jobless growth; Falling female labour force participation; Poor Socio-Economic factors etc.
Very good way forwards.
Decent conclusion.

Marks: 2

pranab prakash
Member

Payment ID MOJO9611300N14575632
Q3

Parth Verma
Admin

After intro, mention why we need such schemes.
Good 1st part.
Decent 2nd part but you add other points like lack of empirical study; impractical idea of hiding the identity of a witness and the witnesses would perhaps not like this to happen to them; police are unlikely to make any meaningful threat analysis for a witness; lack of infrastructure in lower courts; frequent adjournment of cases, etc.
Similarly, you could have given more points in the way forward but you tried to pass it off as conclusion. That would have suited if you had less space. But here you should have given better and more way forwards.

Marks: 4.5

Vishvjeet Holkar
Member

Q2

Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Vishvjeet
Link the topic of the question (demographic dividend turning into demographic disaster) in your intro.
Better intro is needed. Your intro is well suited for the 2nd paragraph of the answer and not as intro.
The discussion is ok but better explanation was required in the second part.
Points are comprehensive though some points are general in nature which can be made better by better explanation
You discussed a lot in the challenges part but you had to simply discuss challenges wrt Poor human capital; Low human development; Jobless growth; Falling female labour force participation; Poor Socio-Economic factors etc.
The 2nd part suffers from the same problem.
read the model answer
Marks: 2

Vishvjeet Holkar
Member

Q1

Parth Verma
Admin

Good intro.
You dont have to mention Gandhi’s advice or challenges. Try to stick to the demand of the question. Dont lose sight of it.
Dont write “land reforms were carried out” in agrarian reforms sub headings. We all know land reforms were carried out!! But what were those reforms? This is an example of general statement. You will not get marks o these. You have to be concrete with your statements and what you write.
Good sub headings but again many statements are general in nature. Work on your writing skills,
What were some of the failures of these ministries? Always give other side of the arguments as well.
Good conclusion.

Work on your language and writing skills.
Marks: 2.5

Vishvjeet Holkar
Member

Q3

Parth Verma
Admin

Very good intro.
Your overall answer is very good.
Good 1st part.
Decent 2nd part but you can add other points like lack of empirical study; police are unlikely to make any meaningful threat analysis for a witness; lack of infrastructure in lower courts; frequent adjournment of cases, etc.
Similarly, you could have given more points in the way forward.
Good conclusion.

Marks: 4.5

Parth Ranjan
Member

Q2
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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Parth
The language is good.
the main focus is on way forwards which is the required approach of the question.
The 1st part is dealt in commendable manner.
Overall very good answer.
All the parts are covered in good manner.

Marks: 6.5

Mohsin Khursheed
Member

Q3.

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Parth Verma
Admin

Your intro is very big. First mention about witness protection scheme in the intro then discuss everything else. Remember: linking of the issue is very important.
Good 1st part.
Decent 2nd part but you can add other points like lack of empirical study; police are unlikely to make any meaningful threat analysis for a witness; lack of infrastructure in lower courts; frequent adjournment of cases, etc.
Very good way forward.
Except intro, everything is in right place and explained in coherent manner.

marks: 5

avani k
Member

Q2

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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi @avani
If you are a paid student then please do mention your payment ID.
Your overall answer is very good.
But a suggestion regarding your presentation.
Do not over use flowcharts. It is suited only when you have time crunch. Also flowchart are never recommended in your solutions and way forwards. They are OK when you are discussing some highlights or features and mentioning some challenges.
But try to discuss your way forwards rather than using flowchart. Also it is quite complicated flow chart. It should be easy and simple.
Points in those flowcharts are good but its better if you explain them..
Marks: 4

avani k
Member

Q3

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Parth Verma
Admin

Very lengthy intro.
Summarize your starting 3 paragraphs to make a single unified intro.
Good 1st part.
Decent 2nd part but you can add other points like lack of empirical study; police are unlikely to make any meaningful threat analysis for a witness; lack of infrastructure in lower courts; frequent adjournment of cases, etc.
Very good way forward.
Except lengthy intro, everything is in right place and explained in coherent manner.

Marks: 5.5

Ria Chaudhary
Member

Q3
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Parth Verma
Admin

Please clock clearer pictures. Use Camscanner app to click better pictures of documents.
Work on your hand writing.
Lengthy intro. Simply introduce the scheme in the intro. Then in the 1st part, in bullet points mention why we need such programs. Then straightaway jump to the discussion on the highlights of the scheme.
“Lack of political will” is something not related to the scheme. Your discussion should revolve around the scheme and not things outside it. Avoid general statements like these.
read the model answer.
Good way forward.
Work on your presentation skills. With this hand writing, avoid cutting in between statements.

Marks: 3.5

Murari Jha
Member

q2
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Parth Verma
Admin

Hi Murari
Link the topic of the question (demographic dividend turning into demographic disaster) in your intro.
Better intro is needed. Your intro is well suited for the 2nd paragraph of the answer and not as intro.
Dont make lots of corrections in the answer. It does not look good. Think and then write.
Very good way forwards.
Your some of the discussions in the 1st part can be removed specially that small flowchart. they are not required.
In the 1st part, You discussed a lot in the challenges part but you had to simply discuss challenges wrt Poor human capital; Low human development; Jobless growth; Falling female labour force participation; Poor Socio-Economic factors etc.
Good handwriting
Marks: 3.5

Murari Jha
Member

q3
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Parth Verma
Admin

Very good intro.
More points are needed in the key features of the schemes.
Rest of the discussion is very good and well placed.
All the parts have nice balance and good points.
Conclusion is missing. Try not to miss it.
All in all decent attempt.

Marks: 5.5

vinay bhalekar
Member

Q2 MOJO9620O00D18665402

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vinay bhalekar
Member

Q3 MOJO9620O00D18665402

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vinay bhalekar
Member

Q4 MOJO9620O00D18665402

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