“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction – explain joint or extended family system and bring out their importance.
Body –
Explain how urbanization and westernization has been impacting Indian family system.
Give recent trends in joint or nuclear family in India and write socio-economic factors responsible for diluting joint family.
Conclusion – point out why preserving Family system is essential for Indian Society.
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Shubhashree ,
You have Written a good answer Overall.
Introduction and conclusion are well articulated. Covered all the Aspects of the question very well.
Content is also very good.
But again you need to mind the word limit. Also it would be better you could’ve shown the impact of urbanisation and western influence separately.
In second section writing more points Related to economic sector.
Rest is fine overall a good Attempt.
Now about your doubt see sociology is your strength but this is GS paper. Here you can quote your Optional terms, thinkers but you should explain a bit about that. Or what thinker have said.
There is no harm in quoting but it should be in context of the question plus followed by brief write up.
Keep Practicing 🙂
7.5/15
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Aabha ,
Your Introduction is very Good.
Structure of the answer is good, you have covered all the parts but content wise you need to improve.
In western influence you need to write briefly impact of each point as you did for urbanisation.
In socio-economic factors you points you have Written are very generic rather here you should write factors like changing marriage pattern, impacts of various social Legislation like Special marriage act, change in nature of traditional Economic activities, movement towards secondary and tertiary Economic activities from collective household occupation like agriculture etc.
Conclusion is good.
Read more about the topic. Keep writing 🙂
5.5/15
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@Swatantra pls review. It has been 10 days.
I am sorry for late reviewing Rupesh. It just I was giving time to write all the students as due to prelims lesser number of people are writing these days.
Rest assured your all the answers for the month of july will get evaluated by the 5th Aug EoD.
Rupesh,
You Introduction is fine. Conclusion is mixed with way Forward Always try to write both SEPARATELY otherwise it’s good.
You need to concise Importance part you should not give it a whole page. Give more space to others section of the Question.
In Second Section it would be better if you could depict impact of urbanisation and western influence separately.
In the last section you have essentially written effects of changing family system rather you need to write socio-economic factors that led to this change. Write factors like changing marriage pattern, impacts of various social Legislation like Special marriage act, change in nature of traditional Economic activities, movement towards secondary and tertiary Economic activities from collective household occupation like agriculture etc.
This effects Section would be better if Inculcated under Urbanisation Section.
You have good understanding but you need to write content which addresses the demand of the question.
Keep writing 🙂
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Ankita,
You have Written a very good answer. Content is very good, expression of the arguement is also very good.
From the first word to the last your answer remained in sync with the Demand of the Question.
Here is only one issue with this answer and that is give equitable space to various aspects.
You have Written Introduction in more then one and half page. Here you need to concise it.
After definition you should have Written Importance in brief. And give more space to core part that in impact of urbanisation and western influence and socio-economic factors.
Give more space to core part of the question. See, the Core part is the one which is asked in the Question explicitly rest other are subsidiary.
You need to give enough space to core part and other sections which are not asked explicitly but should be Written for making your answer complete should be dealt in brief.
Except that it’s a good Answer.
Keep Practicing 🙂
6.5/15
Kindly review @Swatantra sir order no #0000422220
Rajesh,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are very well articulated.
Overall you have written a very good Answer. Covered all the Aspects. Structure is also good.
It would be better if you could write points Related to impact of urbanisation and western influence separately. In this section you can add impacts on various generation of a family that is children, young and old age.
Inculcate facts in your answer to enhance the credibility of your arguments specially in second section of the body.
Rest is fine. Overall a good Attempt.
Keep writing 🙂
7.5/15
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Kartikey,
Your Introduction is fine.
Structure of the answer is fine. There is nice flow in the answer. All aspects of the question is covered except some way Forward.
However content wise this answer is generic. You need to write more effective points. There is repetition also.
In first section write briefly about each point.
In socio-economic factors points you have Written are very generic and they are essentially Effects caused in to family System rather then the factors.
Here you should write factors like changing marriage pattern, impacts of various social Legislation like Special marriage act, change in nature of traditional Economic activities, movement towards secondary and tertiary Economic activities from collective household occupation like agriculture etc. Then depicting impact of each above mentioned factors.
Conclusion is good.
Keep writing 🙂
6.5/15