“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduction-
Write definition of wetlands and give a fact about status of wetlands in India.
Body-
Write various ecosystem services that wetlands provide for urban areas.
Then Point various threats that wetlands are facing to day.
In next part write various steps taken by government for their management holistically.
Suggest some measures as way forward.
Conclude suitably.
Please review my ans. This is my first ans.
Rubzz,
Overall you have Written a good answer. How there are following things you need to take care of-
1. You have Written a long Introduction, concise it. After definition one supportive fact s enough for Introduction.
2. You need to improve the presentation. Each part of the question should be clearly distinguishable from other.
3. Use headings which are more relatable to the question.
4. Write 2-3 points in significance section related to urban areas such as waste water management, flood control, recreational activities etc
5. Try to give few suggestions as well.
Rest is Written very well. You have good factual knowledge. Keep Practicing 🙂
Note- Please Mention your payment ID along with your answer. Otherwise your answer will not be evaluated.
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Shubhashree,
Your Introduction is well written. However there is a factual error. India have thousands of wetlands. 42 are recognized under Ramser convention.
For better flow in your answer try to write 1-2 lines as linking statement
In significance you need to write few points depicting clear linkages to urban areas like waste water management, flood control, recreational activities.
Threats section is well written here add examples of famous wetlands that are affected by threats you have Written. .
In Govt steps you can Inculcate Global efforts like Ramser which India adopted.
Overall good Attempt.
Keep Practicing 🙂
6.5/10
Please review
Payment Id pay_HHWzC2O9xhkaqA
Utkarsha
Your Introduction is good but you need not to write headings like DATA (INTRODUCTION OR CONCLUSION). Inculcate data organically in your answer.
Avoid Writing on margins. Unless you wanted to get penalised by UPSC which deducted upto 25 marks last year for such mistake.
Significance section is written fine. Inculcate for facts of case studies like you did in your point 3.
Threats section also Written fine but here too give examples of famous wetlands affected by specific threats you have written.
Steps taken can by divide under headings Global efforts endorsed by India and National efforts.
Your MAP present factually WRONG information. The Montreux Record is a regiser of wetland sites on the List of Ramsar wetlands of international importance where changes in ecological character have occurred, are occurring, or are likely to occur as a result of technological developments, pollution or other human interference.
At present 2 Indian sites are listed under it.
Keoladeo National Park(Rajasthan)
Loktak Lake.
Avoid such mistakes.
Rest is fine. Keep writing 🙂
Please review 🙂
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Fauziya,
Overall content wise your answer is good. Content is also fine.
But you must understand you are Writing Answer for UPSC CSE not for any college level exam. So must write answer of that standard.
Improvement in presentation and expression of arguments is needed. Mentioning just keywords is not enough.
Inculcate facts in significance section. And mention name of famous wetlands that are under threat due to reasons you have Written.
Steps taken by the Govt is Written well.
Write some suggestions. Make it a rule to write Suggestions Wherever you write negatives of something. It gives constructive outlook to your answer.
Conclusion is fine.
You have very good content with improved presentation you can score good.
Keep practicing 🙂
Payment id-HJHAZEWKSzM3CX
Ankita,
In Introduction one definition is fine. Inculcate some facts here to give depth.
In significance you need to write few points depicting clear linkages to urban areas like waste water management, flood control, recreational activities etc.
Threats are written fine it can be made effective by writing names of famous wetlands that are affected by them. Writing it in the end is not enough.
In steps taken by the Govt add more points related to Indian govt like
National Plan for Conservation of Aquatic Ecosystems (NPCA),
Wetlands (Conservation and Management) Rules, 2017:
Established Nodal authority, prescribed
Prohibited activities like
Setting up any industry and expansion of existing industries,
Dumping solid waste and
Encroachment or conversion for non-wetlands uses etc.
Integrated Management Plan,
Etc.
Montreux records are part of Ramser accord mention it there.
Suggest some measure for better conservation. It has been suggested to you earlier as well to write Suggestions Wherever you write negatives. It should be Written separately from Conclusion.
I appreciate your consistency. Keep Practicing for further improvement 🙂
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal,
Your Introduction is good.
For arrangement of the arguments write all ecological Services including Urban areas at one place.
In threat section you need to add more points. Also mention name of various famous wetlands suffering from these threats. It will make your arguments more effective.
Steps taken by the Govt can be divided under two headings Global efforts endorsed by GoI and national level efforts.
Here add more points related to Indian govt like
National Plan for Conservation of Aquatic Ecosystems (NPCA),
Wetlands (Conservation and Management) Rules, 2017: Established Nodal authority, prescribes Prohibited activities like
Setting up any industry and expansion of existing industries,
Dumping solid waste and
Encroachment or conversion for non-wetlands uses etc.
Integrated Management Plan,
Etc.
It has been emphasised earlier as well. Make it a rule to write Suggestions Wherever you write negatives. It will give you more constructive outlook to your answer. Mind that Conclusion should be written separately from your way forward or Suggestions.
Keep Practicing 🙂
6.5/15
Review Sir 0000420120
Rajlaxmi,
Your Introduction is well articulated.
Significance section is written fine it. It can be written better my showing clear linkages with Urban areas.
In threats mention name of some wetlands it will give more depth.
You need to write more steps taken by the Govt. add more points related to Indian govt like
National Plan for Conservation of Aquatic Ecosystems (NPCA),
Wetlands (Conservation and Management) Rules, 2017:
Established Nodal authority, prescribed Prohibited activities like Setting up any industry and expansion of existing industries, Dumping solid waste and Encroachment or conversion for non-wetlands uses etc., Integrated Management Plan, Etc.
Way forward is Written good.
In conclusion you have mentioned 1 billion people. India’s total population is 1.35 Bn. Always Quote source behind fact for credibility.
Keep Practicing 🙂
Order id – #0000420396
@Swatantra
Rohan,
Your Introduction is good but it’s very lengthy. Concise it.
Answer is well structured.
Significance is Written fine. Add more points here related to urban areas.
You need to write more in threat section. Give 1-2 line of discrimination as question ask you to write about them explicitly. Also in both sections, significance and threats you need to mention names of famous wetlands of India it will add value to your answer.
Steps taken by the Govt is written well. Though more can be added here.
You have missed Suggestions.
I pointed it earlier as well that always write Suggestions whenever you identify negatives. It gives constructive outlook to an answer.
Conclusion is Written fine.
Keep Practicing for further improvement:)
6.5/15
Ref id #0000422539
Mradul,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are well articulated.
Overall answer has good structure, expression is also good.
Content is fine.
In significance section Inculcate examples in each points.
Same can be done for threats it will add value to your answer.
You can add more points in steps taken like National Plan for Conservation of Aquatic Ecosystems (NPCA), Prohibited activities like Setting up any industry and expansion of existing industries,
Dumping solid waste and Encroachment or conversion for non-wetlands uses, and
Integrated Management Plan Etc.
Suggestions or way forward is missing. Make it a rule to write Suggestions Wherever you write negatives of something. It highlights constructive approach in answer.
Keep Practicing 🙂
UPI Reference No.-114715258066
Murari,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are well articulated.
Significance section is very well written.
Concise your points as threats and Add more points in this section. Write on the same lines that is supporting argument with examples.
You need to write more steps taken by the Govt. like National Plan for Conservation of Aquatic Ecosystems (NPCA); Wetlands (Conservation and Management) Rules, 2017:- Established Nodal authority, prescribed Prohibited activities like Setting up any industry and expansion of existing industries, Dumping solid waste and Encroachment or conversion for non-wetlands uses;
Integrated Management Plan Etc.
Upload clear pictures if you want proper evaluation.
Rest is good. Overall a fine Attempt. Keep Practicing 🙂
pay_HHogiMPYpQ87sC
Kartikey,
Your Introduction is fine Inculcate fact for value addition.
Significance and threats section are very generic in nature to give depth to your arguments you need to Inculcate examples of various wetlands in each section.
In last section you can points related to global efforts endorsed by India like Ramser convention.
Last part is very well articulated but Separate your way forward from Conclusion.
Keep Practicing for further improvement:)
6.5/15
Payment Id: pay HFrdyJMOEZ9967. Please review, Sir.
Sumita,
Your Introduction is too long you need to concise it. After definition writing one fact that bring out the importance of the wetlands is enough.
You have good content, overall answer is written very well.
But there is one issue that is consistent with your answer. Write concise points. No need to write whole story- just briefly write 1-2 lines about a point a Support it with fact.
It will give you more space to write diverse points and will save space for other parts of the question.
Add more points in threats section like unscientific agricultural practices, invasive species, dredging etc.
In steps section you can add global efforts endorsed by Govt. of India like Ramser convention.
Rest is Written fine. Keep Practicing 🙂
Kindly review @Swatantra sir order no #0000422220
pay_HH4AoVE2qPd386 please review
Kindly review @Swatantra sir
Ref id 420326