“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce by defining attitude and aptitude.
Draw a comparison between the two vis-Ã -vis civil services.
Highlight the importance of both attitude and aptitude with some examples.
Conclude with a balanced opinion on the importance of both to be successful.
Ref id 422329
Please review
Vishal,
Your introduction is good.
But in main body part you have not understood the essence of the question.Here You are supposed to explain importance of both aptitude and attitude. One can’t be selected at the expense of other. Both are important for the civil services.
Read the question carefully and Try to understand the demand of the question. Use mentor’s comment to get an idea of demand of question.
Read others’ answers for better understanding and Keep writing to improve further 🙂
2.5/10
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Subhashree,
Your introduction is good. But it would be better if you concise it to lesser words. Try to incorporate examples in introduction to give depth to your answer.
In main body part you have not addressed the demand of the question in detail. What you have written in last paragraph of first page was the main demand of the question. You are supposed to explain that in 3/4th of the answer.
You have to content but it is not still aligned with demand of question. Always try to read question 2-3 times. Read mentors comment to get an idea of what is needed in answer.
Keep writing to improve further 🙂
Refid# 422544
Anupam,
Your introduction is fine. You can add concise example here to add depth to your answer.
In main body part you have written only example as case study. In paper try to write concrete arguments. Examples are important but they can’t be the sole words of your answer.
When you are suggested to write example you are supposed to write concise 1-2 line example.
Conclusion is good.
You need to improve main body part of the answer.
Keep writing to improve further 🙂
Please review it sir
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Shubham,
Your Introduction is fine but it is very long. Almost more then a page Covered byIntroduction only.
Here you need write concise Introduction along with the examples.
You should devote 3/4th space to the core demand of the Question i.e. importance of aptitude and Attitude for Civil servant.
You have given good Examples but not even a single example for the main demand of the question.
Write examples Related to the civil services for complete answer.
Conclusion is good.
You have good content but you need to present it as per the demand of the question.
Keep practicing for further Improvement 😉
#0000422288
Kindly review
Sonal,
You need not to write your understanding of the question explicitly rather present it by your answer.
Your Introduction is fine. But it’s too long also You need to write more refined definition especially of attitude.
Don’t write on the margins, it can cost you penalty in the mains.
What you have Written in the last two paragraph is the core Demand of the Question which you should have discussed in more detail.
You should give 3/4 space to the core demand of the Question.
Discussion about fringes will not help you in scoring good marks.
You have enough content but it’s should be presented as per the demand of the question. Take help of Mentor’s Comments if necessary to understand the Demand of the question.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
#0000422551
please review
Vamsidhar,
Your Introduction is good. Add examples here to add value.
In main body you need to write other aspect as well, i.e. Attitude without aptitude may cost efficiency and effectiveness in the action, before drawing any conclusion.
Aptitude is also Important especially in Country like India where we suffer from resources scarcity.
Inculcate more Examples in your answer. If possible for each Argument.
Conclusion is fine.
keep writing for further Improvement:)
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Ankita,
You write very long Introductions, you need to work upon writing concise Introduction. Since this question specifically talks about Civil servants so it’ll be better to write examples of civil servants.
You should give 3/4th space to the core demand of the question.
In main body, you should discuss different aspects in different paragraphs. Also you need to give examples for each aspect just one example of Armstrong Pame is not enough.
Conclusion is fine.
You have good content but you need to work upon presentation of the answer.
Keep practicing for further improvement.
3.5/10
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Kartikeya,
Your Introduction is fine, incorporate examples in introduction to give depth to your answer.
In main body, you must also point out what happens when a civil servants lack either of these attributes. It will add value to your discussion.
Attitude without aptitude leads to inefficiency and ineffectiveness.
Aptitude without attitude leads to apathy and delay in actions.
Also try to add examples along with the discussion, writing then in the end are not that convincing.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep writing for further Improvement:)
Review
Ref no 0000420120
Rajlaxmi 2.5,
Introduction is missing in your answer.
You should define both the concepts first before jumping to the main body.
In main body, give Example for importance of the aptitude.
Also point out what happens when a civil servants lack either of these attributes. It will add value to your discussion.
Attitude without aptitude leads to inefficiency and ineffectiveness.
Aptitude without attitude leads to apathy and delay in actions.
Aptitude is also Important especially in Country like India where we suffer from resources scarcity.
Inculcate more Examples in answer.
you have good content just try present it in a way so to fulfill the demand of the question. Keep practicing:)
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Aabha,
Your introduction is fine. Inculcate Examples to add value.
In main body you have written only example as case study. In paper try to write concrete arguments. Examples are important but they can’t be the sole words of your answer.
When you are suggested to write example you are supposed to write concise 1-2 line example.
Conclusion is fine. Avoid writing on margins, it can cause you penalty in Mains.
You need to mold your knowledge as per the demand of the question.
Keep writing to improve further:)
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Arpit ,
In Introduction you can write more refined definitions along with examples in brief, this will give depth to your answer.
In main body you have Written only importance of each attributes.
To depict their importance of both together for a civil servant you must also discuss idea you have given in conclusion i.e. what happens when a civil servants lack either of these attributes. It will add value to your discussion.
Attitude without aptitude leads to inefficiency and ineffectiveness.
Aptitude without attitude leads to apathy and delay in actions.
Also add more examples to your answer.
Keep practicing for further improvement;)
3.5/10
kindly review
ref id #000420326
@Swatantra sir
Deepali,
Your Introduction is fine, add examples here to give depth to your answer.
You have discussed only the importance of the attitude, you should do the same for Aptitude as well.
Also bring out the situations where a Civil servant lacks either of the two attributes to make this discussion wholistic.
There is not even a single Example in your answer, without which arguments seems hollow so Inculcate Examples in your answer.
Read other’s answers for better understanding. Keep practicing 🙂
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Shivanshu,
Introduction is fine. Give Example for attitude as well and you don’t have to write about the belonging of the Examples, it’s obvious.
You must write examples along with your arguments, not in the end.
To bring in depth to your answer also discuss aspect when a civil servants lack either of these attributes.
Attitude without aptitude- inefficiency and ineffectiveness.
Aptitude without attitude- apathy etc
Your understanding of the topic is good but you need to write answers with clear expression. Try to improve upon that aspect.
Keep practicing for further improvement:)
REF ID: #0000425733
Please review @Swatantra Sir
Your Introduction is fine but it’s lengthy try to concise it and add example for Aptitude as well.
There is no need to write comparison of the two as it’s not the demand rather use space for the discussion about importance of the both in more depth.
For that you can write about the essence of the quote i.e. what happens when a Civil servant lacks either of two.
Also bring in more examples in your answer.
You have good understanding of the topic. Just try to cover all the possible aspects of the question.
Keep practicing:)