“Mentor’s Comments”
Introduce your answer with writing “what is Industrial Revolution”.
In main body first talk about Japanese revolution and how it was different from other western revolutions English, German, French etc.
In second part, write your opinion what are various lessons that India can learn from Japanese revolution so to become a developed nation at rapid speed.
Conclude by giving reference how industrial revolution changed Japan’s stature in the world linking it with possible change in India’s stature in future if lessons learnt well.
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Shubhashree,
Pls upload clear pictures.
Your Introduction is good, add an example.
You have Written a very good answer overall. Covered all the aspects. Content is also very good.
How ever you still can improve your presentation.
Use headings, subheadings for separating one part from another.
Rest is fine. Keep it up. Keep writing:)
7.5/10
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Deepika,
Introduction is fine, instead of British use Western powers.
It seems you have failed to understand the question.
First, You had to write the comparison between Japanese IR and Western (British) IR
Here points like Japan- state supported capitalism, West- based on individual initiative
Japan focused on cheap reverse engineered goods, West- quality of the product was more important,
Japan not backed by agricultural revolution unlike west.
Give due space to the part India can learn- focus on reverse engineering, utilising demographic dividend, Focus on industrialization not on westernisation, Human Resources Development education being core focus, etc
Read the question properly. write all the parts with equitable distribution of space.
Read others’ answers for better understanding. Keep writing:)
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GS P1
Chandrama ,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are good.
You have very good knowledge of the topic, but you failed in presentation of the knowledge as per the Demand of the question.
Here you you had to compare Japanese IR with other nations, not just chart out the nature of IR in different nations. So mold your arguments as per the Demand of the question.
In Second part, you had to write lessons that India can learn from Japan what you have written is not able to convey those lesson clearly.
Be more direct and clear in approach.
Read question carefully. Understand the Demand of the question and mold your Arguments as per the Demand.
Read others’ answers as well and keep writing:)
Review
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Rajlaxmi,
You’ll get 3 pages for a 15 marks questions, take notice of marks before writing an answer.
Introduction and conclusion are fine.
You have understood the question and Written on the right lines.
Your have written many facts, It’s good if you can remember that much facts in final exams.
Add points like Japan- state sponsored capitalism, West- based on individual initiative
Japan focused on cheap reverse engineered goods, West- quality of the product was more important,
Japan not backed by agricultural revolution unlike west etc.
Add more specific points that India can learn- focus on reverse engineering, utilising demographic divided, efficient use of scarce resources, Focus on industrialization not on westernisation, Human Resources Development education being core focus, etc.
Read others’ answers and Keep writing 🙂
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Sumita,
Your Introduction is fine but complicated. You can used simple language here.
You have understood the Demand the question and address it well.
As its not the core part of the answer, the feature of Japanese IT can be written in brief.
In comparison you can add points like, unlike Western nations Japanese IR- not backed by agricultural Revolution.
Fueled by spirit of nationalism,
Feudal and war lords supported the cause of IR and voluntarily quit their priviledgs etc
India can learn- focus on reverse engineering, exploiting demographic divided, efficient use of scarce resources, Focus on industrialization not on westernisation, Human Resources Development, etc.
Conclusion is good.
Keep practicing for Improvement:)
6.5/10
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Aabha,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
You have understood the Demand of the question but couldn’t do the justice.
If any part is not important to the core demand, avoid Writing that if you had to mention it in brief
You started addressing core demand after the half of second page and discussed in a space of even less then a page. You’ll get marks if only you address the Demand.
Japanese imperialism starts with IR, not ended.
You need to better points like Japan- state sponsored capitalism, West- based on individual initiative
Japan focused on cheap reverse engineered goods, West- quality of the product was more important,
Japan not backed by agricultural revolution unlike west etc.
Add more specific points that India can learn- focus on reverse engineering, utilising demographic divided, efficient use of scarce resources, Focus on industrialization not on westernisation, Human Resources Development education being core focus, etc.
Read question properly, stay focused on the demand.
Read others answers for better understanding and Keep writing:)
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Ankita,
Your Introduction is fine.
You have understood the question well and addressed it properly.
You can add more important points like Japan- state sponsored capitalism, West- based on individual initiative, Japan not backed by agricultural revolution unlike west etc.
Add more specific points that India can learn- focus on reverse engineering of imported tech, utilising demographic divided, efficient use of scarce resources, Focus on industrialization not on westernisation etc.
Rest is fine. Overall a good Attempt:)
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Arpit 7,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine.
Overall your have Written a fine answer. Content is good, structure of the Question is also fine.
Though you can can more points, especially as that India can learn- focus on reverse engineering along with original R&D, efficient use of scarce resources, Focus on industrialization not on westernisation, Human Resources Development etc
Rest is fine. Keep writing:)
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Kartikeya,
Your Intro is fine. Conclusion is very well articulated.
Written a Well structured and multidimensional answer.
Though more points can be added especially in lessons for India.
(Check your fact- Electronic goods production is later phenomenon).
Rest is fine.
Over all a very good Attempt Keep writing:)
7.5/10
ref id- #0000422539
Mradul,
Introduction and Conclusion are Written well.
You have covered both the aspects, structure is fine.
Content is also Good though few more points may be added.
Overall a Very good Attempt. Keep writing:)
pay_HH4AoVE2qPd386 please check @Swatantra
Shivanshu,
Your Introduction and Conclusion are fine though they can be Written better.
You have addressed the question and Written both the part.
However you have stretched one argument for long especially in comparison section.
You can add more important points like Japan-Japan not backed by agricultural revolution unlike west,
Faster in face, reverse engineering based etc
Lessons that India can learn- focus on reverse engineering of imported tech, utilising demographic divided, efficient use of scarce resources, Focus on industrialization not on westernisation etc.
Read others’ answers as well. Keep writing:)