Mentor’s comment-
- https://www.thehindu.com/
opinion/op-ed/creating-safe- digital-spaces/ article37494677.ece - In the intro, mention that various reports have indicated increased incidence of cyberbullying and online child sexual exploitation by adults.
- In the body, mention that the impact of online sexual harassment could have long-term negative impacts on mental health and well-being. In the measures suggest information booklet brought out by UNESCO in partnership with NCERT on Safe Online Learning in Times of COVID-19, effective interventions also require gender-sensitive and targeted approaches that respond to needs of learners.
- Conclude by mentioning the need to encourage students, parents, schools, education authorities, members of the education community and its partners to take part in preventing online violence and promoting the safety and well-being of young people.
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Siddharth
Intro is okay, can be better if you mention some report/data citing increasing instances of cyberbullying (UNESCO report).
Impacts mentioned are fine. Suggestions are also okay, however mention some related to education for example role of teachers, information booklet brought out by UNESCO in partnership with NCERT on Safe Online Learning in Times of COVID-19 etc.
Conclusion is nice.
Overall decent answer, go through the article mentioned above for some specific content.
Keep writing. 🙂
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Nandhini
Impact starts from the 2nd point in first page; till then seems like introduction only. Although you have written well, cited data etc but it will be better if you can make it a bit concise.
Impacts mentioned are fine; suggestions are also good- also talk about the role of parents, teachers, society other than the role of government. You can also mention the need to provide children and young people with the knowledge and skills to identify online violence, gender-sensitization, Manodarpan initiative to improve mental health etc.
Conclusion is nice.
Keep writing. 🙂
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Muskan
Decent answer. Intro is fine, if you can mention some data/report citing increasing instances of cyberbullying it will be better.
Impacts are mentioned nicely.
In suggestions, also talk about the role of parents, teachers, society other than the role of government. You can also mention the need to provide children and young people with the knowledge and skills to identify online violence, gender-sensitization etc. Other points are good.
Conclusion is fine.
Keep writing. 🙂
4.5/10