I think when tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. These past thirty days, I have spent many of my moments lost in that void. And I know that many future moments will be consumed by the vast emptiness as well.
Sheryl Sandberg, COO at Facebook
This post was written on 3rd June, 2015. Dave Goldberg (her husband) died on 1st May, 2015. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning after your loved one is buried to acknowledge and accept your loss before you regain your strength to march on in life.
Now, admittedly your IAS Prelims 2016 loss cannot be compared to her loss but we also can’t deny that it did not hit you hard. It did. It was not just another objective exam written to get just another government job. NO. It was not yet another half hearted attempt without much planning. NO. We as community moderators have seen the amount of efforts you guys put in Target Mains Initiative and that speaks volumes about your sincerity. If there were any doubts, then you should read the comments that CD community poured in for those few consistent members who unfortunately got caught this IAS Pre fiasco.
This is the point where you start questioning yourself
- Where did I go wrong?
- Why didn’t my results come out as I had thought they would?
- Am I even good enough to continue?
And this is your struggle. This is the point when everyone starts doubting your abilities and you start to think that may be right. This is the point when self doubt becomes self hatred. You cringe deep inside for leaving the safe shores and taking this path and you wonder if it was just an unjustified rebellious streak, a half baked childhood dream? The struggle is when you want the pain to stop but it won’t. When you think of taking a timeout for some fresh air but everything just stifles you.
You are in the land of broken promises and crushed dreams. But what next?
We did not want to write just another inspirational blog to give you a 2 minute inspiration noodle which you read and then close and go back to mourning. You cannot afford 30 days of extended mourning. Your 48 hours are up. That’s all you can afford. Wipe off your tears and read ahead.
Resilience can be learned. Here’s how:
#1. Realise that it is not your fault –
Ban the word “sorry”. Tell yourself over and over that it isn’t your fault. Shit happens. Remember Satish Reddy? (AIR 97, CSE 2014) – He was with us and helped build the platform at the early days. He missed the IAS by 1 rank. IAS allotment closed at 96. He got IRS. Gave another attempt. Couldn’t clear Mains. Can you imagine his plight? Not clearing Prelims looks like manageable now, right? But he marched ahead and made peace with his selection. There will be many such cases, instances where even with a proven test record, you won’t always get what you want. So don’t feel sorry.
#2. Permanence: Nothing last forever –
The good thing about having an active & mature community is that we have students from all walks of life coming in and pouring their life’s wisdom. Nitin Pant wrote about his struggle days – how he still feels the sting of not clearing IFoS even though he cleared CSE Prelims and how patience has its own rewards.
“The Struggle is not failure, but it causes failure. Especially if you are weak. Always if you are weak.”
Most people are not strong enough. Some will drop out of this race now. But you know you are not ‘most people’
#3. Don’t let your failures be pervasive –
Compartmentalise your life. Don’t screw up the healthy relations, healthy habits, answer writing practice just coz this unexpected event happened. Your days of mourning are over. Get back on your feet. This struggle sucks.
But the struggle is where greatness comes from! So, what next?
#1. Join the Flagship/ Advanced Prelims Series –
If you have been our student in 2016, come back. We will make sure that this year is even more empowering for our students to scale the wall and cross all hurdles. Tikdams and Tidbits will find their due place in explanations. We are also working out the concept of a current affairs video/ webinar which helps in covering last week’s portions in a brisk manner + gives you enough reading material to keep you occupied. Read this LIVE exam commentary on how Tikdams helped someone sail through Prelims.
Pick the course which suits you best. The next pitstop is June 2017 and you can’t relax –
- Flagship Prelims Course – Click here (TS1 already released)
- Advanced Prelims Course – Click here (First test on 26th sept)
- Current Affairs only Course – Click here (First test on 26th sept)
#2. Stick to Target Mains Modules daily –
Motivation is hard to maintain because we’ve pushed our goals too far into the future. Prelims is in June, Mains would be much later. Our fixation with the final outcome thwarts us from doing the very work needed to make it real. We miss out on baby steps – we don’t track daily progress.
Not only are long-term plans inaccurate, they’re demotivating. Rarely do they instill the purpose needed to get out of bed. So, commit to daily greatness! You have 2 things –
Enough With The Theory, Let’s Get Practical
#3. Don’t feel like sitting home and studying the whole day? Work with us!
This one is simple. We know who you are (well, most of you) and how you write/ how you structure your thoughts and we would love to do amazing work in this content space. Drop in an email to hello[at]civilsdaily.com and let us know that you are interested (and why?)
That’s it. That’s all from our side.